Today, I took my first fare as a qualified taxi driver. The pride soon diminished as I was forced to listen to my passenger give a greatly detailed description of his recent colonoscopy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was discharged from hospital and I took a cab home. The driver drove really fast and made sharp turns that made me feel nauseous. As I opened my mouth to tell him to slow down, I threw up all over the back seat. FML
Today, I fell asleep in a taxi. So did the taxi driver. FML
Today, my taxi driver kept falling asleep and swerving off the road, so I asked him if he was okay. He stopped and burst out sobbing about the long hours he had to do after his divorce, and his wife taking all he had. Long story short, I ended up driving him home and getting another taxi from his place. FML
Today, I started my job as a driving instructor. My first client showed up piss drunk. FML
Today, I took my driving test. I was really nervous, but I thought I did pretty well in the end. That is until I parked the car and looked to the examiner. He was visibly shaken. He said I'd passed, quickly filled in the paperwork and left. On the downside, my car still smells of his shart. FML
Today, I was running late for school because I had a huge stomach ache. To save on time, I took a taxi. When the taxi driver hit a bump, I lost control of my bowels and shit myself. Not only do I have to wash my underwear in the sink at school now, but I had to pay the driver extra to remove the smell from his car. FML
Today, I had my first driving lesson. I learned how to be stopped by a cop, who told me what a horrible driver I was. FML
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
Today, I took a taxi ride with my friends. As we were getting out, I paid the taxi driver. With a grin, he drove away fast. It turns out my friend had already paid. FML
Today, I waited for 20 minutes to get a cab outside grand central station in New York (it was raining). Finally, to my relief, I found a cab but when I got in I let a little fart slip. Two minutes later the cabby kicked me out of his cab because I stunk. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
misspulkadot24 17
I think it would be cool to taxi around people from all over and hear their stories.
Prolux_fml 23
Well, how'd it go?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (104)
gregorygreg87 12
I just started driving a taxi too. We are now unlicensed therapists who only get to listen.
Redneck17 8
Well, at least you didn't get robbed!
pattycakes666 5
lol ;D my dads a taxi driver.. he hears so pretty weird stuff o.O
laurenlovesjb 20
Hey OP, it's all part of the job:) Haha I'll be your next person, and you'll listen about how I love Justin Bieber the whole ride:)
soad2014 7
Please I'm begging you!!! No!!! I'd rather hear someone say Lulu is a good album than hear what "great" accomplishments Justine Bieber has done!
outoftown 27
Congratulations, OP. Hope Colonoscopy Man gave you a great tip (money, I mean; not "get one when you turn 50").
SimplyEerb 3
Too bad you didn't become a limousine driver. You'd be able to put a glass between you and the passenger.
worldclassrager 41
well its better than some stories that probably have been told before...
linkinpark98 24
Better than getting a customer who is sharpening their knife in the backseat, and saying they know where you live.
Locoluis 15
VOLANTE O MALETA
locz07 1
Ha ha ha
taylordanielle98 1
Hahah that's so funny cause my mom had that done today