Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
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Top comments
hayleegirl 0
How does this make you feeeel?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
She had to find out eventually. :/
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Comments (104)
newlove_fml 0
Awe. Accidents happen. You didn't mean it, and surely your daughter will come to realize that soon and speak to you again. She's just hurt is all, and she's young, so she just doesn't realize that accidents sometimes need to be forgiven. But it'll be okay, all kids learn to forgive eventually.
Taysia_Elice 6
I feel even worse for the child...
hoonyer 17
haha great username
kei1108 13
Well, you did lie to her all of her life. I wouldn't speak to you either! My parents didn't do Santa Claus. We appreciated each other for the gifts! I don't understand why parents do the Santa thing. How did you think she was going to find out?? Did you think she'd be happy?!
awesomelikethat 0
So freaking funny! "oh yeah honey forgot to mention Santa isn't real!
Takainthemachine 0
It was going to happen eventually..better from you. She will very over it and join the multitudes of bieber fever! lol
Pushka 8
Well you totaly deserve it for lying to your child =)
St3vyBug 2
don't feel bad, last time i sat on santa's lap was for a picture for my grandma. My smile is awkward and my eyes shine with horror bc the old man had a boner.
BlueJay216 0
Ahahaha it's ur fault
weirdo22228 4
Next time don't lie to your kid.