Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
He's not??
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
Top comments
hayleegirl 0
How does this make you feeeel?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
She had to find out eventually. :/
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Comments (104)
cntryiscntrywide 0
yu shouldn't have let that happen on yur watch
mfjkr 10
"Santa Hates Poor Kids"- Your Favorite Martian :)
Okayitwasme 0
Ha! You deserved it for making your daughter feel stupid, because you lied! That sick feeling in your gut was exactly what she felt like knowing you lied and how far you went to keep the lie! I wonder if she will believe you ever again!
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
Dude, the kid is probably five years old or something. If you told your kid right off the bat "Don't listen to the other kids. Santa isn't real" then you'd probably be considered a ****** up parent. You can't blame the mom for letting her child believe in fantasy. I'm not sure if YOU believed in Santa when you were a kid, but I'm sensing something bad happened when you were little and how you / your parents dealt with the topic of Santa...
SwtCherryPie 26
Or like my husband and I... we decided from the beginning we werent going to lie to our daughter. She is 6 years old and has never believed in any of that crap. Nothing like the day a child comes to realize theyve been lied to their ENTIRE life about imaginary easter bunnies and tooth fairies and santa claus. #50 its encouraging to find someone else who feels like we do about this subject.
DoxIxHAVExTo 10
Okay, I admit I was pretty rude with my comment but I still kind of disagree with this way of thinking. Like, where does the line end? Do tell your kid right off the bat that fantasy is a lie? That disney is just stories and things like the Little Mermaid and Tinkerbell don't exist, and all the rides are machine and gears and smoke and mirrors? That his/her toys don't actually talk and that they're just made out of plastic (assuming you even give them toys)? What kid books do you read them? And if you do read them something that has fairies and mystical creatures do you have to clarify that they're fake? I'm seriously asking this because I don't know where the line stops. Personally, I was raised believing in all of these fairy tales and fantasies when I was a kid and I never felt heartbroken or felt like my parents "betrayed" me. I just put the pieces together and realized the probability of these things were impossible (One old guy flying around the WHOLE WORLD and giving presents to EVERY family that has kids? Really?) but I never blamed my parents. And personally I'm glad I was raised on these things. I can look back on my childhood and remember fondly when me and my friends went to hunt for evidence of unicorns and fairies, and I'm glad that imagination and fantasy was encouraged in my household and that my parents had faith in me that I would not grow up resenting them for believing in fantasy / "lies." Of course, I don't have kids of my own and although I do plan to raise them like how I was when I was young, I am still incredibly interested in this new way of parenting - new, I consider, since only now have I seen other parents doing this in increasing amounts.
pierce_myheart 0
Well, that sucks fer ya
MaloPero 4
I like: "Today....she STILL doesn't speak to me"
dansco 25
You evil person, you have ruined Xmas for them! Lol
rulezdunmatter 12
Well, so now Santa's all about the beard? So he's not allowed to shave or all the little children around the world will cry?
Millman_fml 9
Ahh, all these Christmas "Fml"s lol it's always kids finding out the truth about Santa
Ebonylynn7 0
My mom told my little cousin when she was little that Santa just has a bunch of helpers because he couldn't be in that many places at once. Worked for her, she still believes it's true. :)
Arxikist 3
Bitch got some nerve pretending to be Santa.