Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I brought my 6-year-old to the mall to sit on Santa's lap. She told him what she wanted and smiled for the picture. When the lady told her that her turn was over, she began throwing a fit, pulling off Santa's beard in the process. This caused all the kids in line to begin sobbing. FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I took my kids to the mall to see Santa. While waiting in line, my eldest got bored and loudly complained, "I don't know why we're here. Santa's not even real." I don't think any of the kids within a hundred feet took the news very well. FML
Today, I accidentally knocked over a mall Santa on his way to meet some children. I've never had that many hate-filled eyes on me at once. FML
Today, my 8-year-old daughter was throwing a tantrum, and I said "Keep this up and I'll tell Santa to take your presents back." She told me I don't even know Santa, at which point I accidentally blurted that I'm "Santa". FML
Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML
Today, I took my 5-year old daughter to get a photo taken with Santa, when she asked the dreaded question of why this Santa looked different from one at the other store. Before I could placate her, some cunt of a kid yelled, "Because he's not real, dumbass!" FML
Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my daughter ran up to an old man with a white beard and a red sweater because she thought he might be Santa. He was a homeless dude, drunk at 9 in the morning. He told her to either give him money or f**k off, then screamed at her that "Santa’s not real, grow up r*tard." She’s still crying FML
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Top comments
hayleegirl 0
How does this make you feeeel?
xxGheTToGumbYxx 16
She had to find out eventually. :/
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Comments (104)
rubberduckie94 13
santa smells like milk and cookies you smell like beef and cheese!!!!!!!
DocBastard 40
But it IS her problem because it actually happened to HER. Or did I misread that this FML happened to "anyone"?
boredblonde 17
That's what Santa gets for shaving off his beard and putting a fake one on!
TicklingIsFun 0
You ruined 21 children's lives.
SwtCherryPie 26
no the parents shouldnt have lied to their children in the first place... at some point or another the children will realize it and be distraught regardless of whether mommy pulled his beard off or they find out another way... you are still a liar in their eyes
perdix 31
You mean because the kids found out that adults have this huge conspiracy to deceive them? Maybe that cabbage patch or stork thing is a load of shit, too?
Capt_Oblivious 10
You figure with the money Santa saves by owning and driving a Prius, he could buy a beard that adheres better to his face.
KUSH45 0
u bitch
MrBean1561 5
Still surprises me that people put YDI for FMLs like this.
hateevryone 15
accidents happen *shrugs*
sikmunkee 9
thats a fitting name for you. anyway you just destroyed so.many lives. kudos
mrdanoob 0
I would say it was santas helper and Santa is at the north pole making toys for the other kids that's the other parents problem but don't ruin her dreams hope it works out