Today, I took a busy train into the city. I was lucky enough to get a seat. People were forced to stand in the aisle in front of me, and the person directly opposite me, whose butt was level with my head farted in my face. Twice. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on the train when I fell asleep. Everything would have been fine but I was suddenly jerked awake by the very loud sound of my own fart, followed by the stares of many strangers. FML
Today, I was riding the train and someone farted. Everyone looked at me. People always blame farts on the fat guy. FML
Today, while I was on the up escalator, a small woman in front of me farted directly into my face. FML
Today, while sitting on the bus a stranger sat next to me, farted, put his hand under his butt to smell what it was like, and then sniffed it throughout the whole ride while glancing at me. FML
Today, I had to spend a long bus ride with my chest pressed against the window, because some mammoth of a woman decided to squeeze her double wide ass into my seat. FML
Today, I went on a busy train. I packed myself in close to a very good looking woman and, too scared to say anything, looked out the window. After feeling a hand on my ass, I assumed it was her. To not ruin the moment, I didn't look back. After a few stops, I looked back. It was an old man. FML
Today, I was on train when an attractive girl got on. There were no free seats and seeing as how my stop was next, I gave her mine. As soon as I did, the train came to an immediate halt, due to "brake problems". I spent the next 40 minutes standing up. FML
Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML
Today, on the bus, a large smelly man was sat next to me, pushing me against the divider and sliding into me on every turn. When he got up for his stop, his pants had loosened and his bare ass was staring me in the face. FML
Today, as I caught the train home, a woman got on and sat on the only available seat next to me. We got talking and as the train approached the next station, she said that this was her stop and she had to go. She exited the train and I turn to see her enter the compartment behind me. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
RedPillSucks 33
The down side of getting a seat in a crowded train. Next time, bring a chain saw. You'd be surprised how much personal space people will give you, crowded train or not.
drizzt6895 0
Did you say "thank you sir may i have another"?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (47)
Autoshot 9
Ouch, that's a recipe for pink-eye.
jagd 0
admit it, if he were your boyfriend you would have loved it
Kenik 6
Personally I think you should've asked them to take your seat then YOU fart in their face XD
bigbadtim 7
Pink eye?
SarahStarzz 0
eeew FYL
my2centsworth 15
If you'd offered your seat to someone else, you wouldn't have been gassed.
BringYourOwnBomb 0
That's just wrong. FYL OP.
Bartimaeus 7
I know how you feel. Recently, I participated in and RFI (Regional Formal Inspection) for JROTC (Junior Reserve Officers Training Corps) at the military school I go to. It required you to stand "at rest" and "at attention" for at least an hour while you and the whole brigade were inspected by service men. Well... as a squad leader, I can only say I am glad I was on the end of my line. The fat kid next to me, the fat kid in front of me, and the idiot kid behind me ALL were FARTING up a storm. You weren't allowed to move. I gagged and they laughed- which only caused them to fart more. I turned my head to my right, gasping for fresh air, eyes watering, nose itching with the stench. My vision blurred and I thought I was going to pass out. The room spun around me. My senses were clouded over, I was practically in a coma. They kept farting. it was a competition. I was right in the middle. I almost died. So. I know what you mean about people who do that. (inhales deeply) You and me, we're survivors.
sweeetcheeeks33 0
helll noooo ! thats gross , i would have kicked his ass (:
Aluke 2
Hey at least you didn't get pink eye ;)