Today, I tried a new sugar scrub soap that's supposed to help get rid of cellulite. I didn't read the instructions correctly and now as well as still having the cellulite, my butt looks like I got a massage from an angry cat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I followed an acne treatment. It was only after I'd finished the treatment that I read the bottom line, stating "Do not scrub your face". I only had one pimple to start with, now it looks like I sandpapered my face. FML
Today, I tried to wax my own Brazilian. My housemate’s cat rolled onto a half-used wax strip on the floor. The poor cat now has a small, less-fluffy patch, and I still haven’t figured out how to wax myself. FML
Today, I found out that my amazing sugar and oil olive body scrub will cause the next person to get in the shower to slip and break an arm. We have no insurance. FML
Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML
Today, I decided to try a new hair removal cream. Turns out, I'm allergic to it. My face now looks like a tomato with eyebrows. FML
Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML
Today, I decided to treat myself to a relaxing bubble bath. Mid-soak, I heard a loud crash and realized my cat had knocked over a shelf, sending shampoo bottles and bath salts tumbling into the water. Now I'm stuck cleaning up a soapy mess instead of enjoying my spa time. FML
Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML
Today, I slept over at my boyfriend's house and he offered to give me a massage, as he'd found a book on sensual massage and wanted to test it out on me. When he went to the bathroom, I found the book open on his desk- at "Massage to eliminate cellulite". FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
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Top comments
Roxxay 6
it wouldn't work anyway, OP. cellulite is like Harry Potter, nothing can destroy them.
aktopps 0
That's why all instructions should be like IKEA's.
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Comments (60)
aktopps 0
That's why all instructions should be like IKEA's.
Lunaa94 6
Yeah. If you can't figure out how to use something from IKEA, all you have to do is call in for help...
yazmi_09 3
ugh I got a mental image of a cottage cheese looking butt, :(
AubriS 0
Yumm :-/
Dmars444 4
same with me! only mine was skin cancer burn off cream and my scrotum... didn't cure my sweatrash either
Sacurason 0
Always read the instructions. It's God's way of telling you to pay attention. :)
glutgyoogle 6
A sugar scrub, of all things, is NOT going to get rid of cellulite. Cellulite has nothing to do with the surface of skin...
darien987 1
OP did read the instructions, just not correctly.
darien987 1
OP did read the instructions, just not correctly.
MuchDance90s 0
YDI. 1. read instructions for new products. 2. cellulite is genetic. sorry. and some evidence that it's toxic buildup. so avoiding caffeine, sugar etc would be a lot more effective.
zolziski 11
Avoiding long hot baths also helps. As for scrubs... They can work, but it has a lot more to do with how you use them rather than what's in them. If used correctly it can help with circulation which helps get rid of those toxins you've mentioned. A good loofa can do the trick though, so really no need for special scrubs.
ulicksam 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Genetic only in the way that lazy fat people raise lazy fat people, and being lazy and fat gives you cellulite.
Sinkhole 26
You really are stupid, ulicksam. Raising has nothing to do with genetics, it has to do with genes, I never thought I would have to explain the 'gene' part in the word 'genetics', but you clearly are stupid. Apart from that, skinny people can have cellulite, and that is because cellulite can be caused by hormonal and genetic factors; even the person's diet and lifestyle can worsen the cellulite. Please, don't talk if you have no idea of what you're talking about.
MuchDance90s 0
skinny people can totally have cellulite. that's part of the reason it sucks, because dieting alone often does nothing. thanks for the info about the toxic release in scrubbing. that's interesting.
SeaChicken 0
Indeed, skinny people can have it too. Not to mention a shitload of 'famous' photoshopped women in magazines.
aramo 1
.
Vita_1 30
Cellulite is NOT genetic. It's caused by the seperation of skin from muscle; that's why people who have lost a large amount of fat almost always have it. The solution is to pretty much work out and gain muscle so that the 'blank space' would fill up. I used to have cellulite after 6 months of severe dieting, counting calories, and losing 60lbs. It all went away when I started jumproping, working out, and doing other things to help build muscle :)
quackImapenguin 16
nevermind
Roxxay 6
it wouldn't work anyway, OP. cellulite is like Harry Potter, nothing can destroy them.
spoilt_ 15
Them?
Roxxay 6
the cellulite and Harry :)
glenzhao2 16
To be gramatically correct, it would be 'it'.
22cute 17
Actually, scrubs and massage do help but they have to be applied regularly. You won't see results after one effort.
randomnameflob 0
Lots and lots if drugs.
afdude87 6
nasty..
maddiester 5
well the outcome could've actually been a good thing. all depending on the cat; it could've been really angry at the cellulites, which caused it to do a remarkable cellulite-removing massage. therefore, OP must've thought only an angry and determined cat could've done it.
only1onyx 0
actually made me lol! op, things come with directions for a reason! ydi.
briidontgive_ 0
Ydi for thinking a body scrub wud take that away and for not reading instuctions ! Come on common sense op
AubriS 0
turns out common sense isn't so common after all.
FYLDeep 26
Looking pretty sexy, Sugar.