Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML
Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML
Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, my son told me he wants to be a cop or enter the military when he grows up. Why? "Cops get paid to kill useless members of society" and "Only the military can stop communism." FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
Tell him you're actually more interested in the high speed horse-drawn carriage chases.
nooblper 21
Oh look, another fine sample of humanity.
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Comments (52)
shadowdragon0820 20
People keep saying the grandpa is racist. he could be joking you guys.
Isa_fml 20
Still racist.
NotchaHue 8
Y'all are acting like his generation is being racist for saying that as if it's not actually happening
PaleGuy 5
I mean yah
oly49 10
****** white people idc I get down vote y'all was born racist hands down all ya are racist
PharmacyJoe 13
Oh, please. People in the U.S. generalize every type of person without repercussions when it comes to their job. Cops are not excluded from this. Now if you were trying to say it's unfair that you can generalize cops but not minority races, then you need to realize that you're not talking about the same "qualification" for being generalized. One is a race that you are born with, the other is a profession that you choose.
NYGiants1925 22
Tell him your more interested in hauling his ass off to the pen. Honestly though that's kind of funny, as ****** up as it is.
NicoTaylor1005 19
Well, yes
JKPwnage 27
The best part is that people like that are allowed to vote. They're called the Tea Party.