Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my grandmother got caught trying to rob a casino. She was planning this for months, and is claiming I was an integral part of the heist. I'm fifteen and had no idea she was planning this. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML
Today, my grandma calls me, accusing me of theft. I was home all day and watching Orange Is The New Black. When I asked what I stole, she said her car keys. I don’t even have my license. I told her to look in her purse. She found them. FML
Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML
Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML
Today, my grandmother yet again asked where my grandfather is. She refuses to believe us when we tell her that he passed away 6 years ago. She always insists that he's out cheating on her and accuses us of lying to cover his arse. FML
Today, my grandma is refusing to talk to me because I didn't answer her phone calls while we were at a parade. I was in it. FML
Today, the police turned up. It turns out the girl I slept with two nights ago was burgled. She told my great aunt, who happens to live next door to her. They then told my grandparents, who then told my mum. I'm now a suspect. FML
Today, I came home from work to find my grandmother in my living room, demanding to know where I'd been all day. I'm 22 and live by myself. She stole my mother's emergency key to get in. FML
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Top comments
tiptoppc 21
Play the claim that you really are and say that if she keeps pestering you about it, you’ll have make sure that she sleeps with the fishes
DLBL 23
Have Guido and Carmine make her a pair of cement shoes.
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Comments (1)
tiptoppc 21
Play the claim that you really are and say that if she keeps pestering you about it, you’ll have make sure that she sleeps with the fishes
DLBL 23
Have Guido and Carmine make her a pair of cement shoes.