Mental health, Awkward, ACAB and Memories: Systemic - FML

Systemic

By Anonymous - 10/07/2021 04:00

Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML

agreeclassic 1 296

vote type 1 139

The rhythm of the fight
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By onlyjuggalos - 31/01/2016 08:13 - United States

Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML

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By Toodamnold - 13/02/2018 09:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, I was once again escorted out of a supermarket by a police officer. I must be the only 83-year-old who still has his marbles, but people always assume I am senile and wandering from a care center. FML

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By Michelle - 01/09/2010 08:27 - Netherlands

Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML

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By JANES - 18/12/2025 03:00

Today, my senile grandad saw me and thought I was cutting class, so he pulled his belt off and came after me. While I was trying to get away, his pants fell off and he tripped over them. I'm now getting the blame for "making him have a fall". FML

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By Anonymous - 24/04/2021 02:00

Today, as caregiver, I had to physically remove the shit my grandpa had stuck in his rectum, because he doesn't remember how to shit. He barely knows who I am, which is good because when he remembers who he is, he becomes an abusive asshole. I'm 27. FML

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By Anonymous - 26/06/2022 18:00

Today, man do I feel old. For the first time ever, a teen thug with more acne spots than brain cells told me to, “Piss off grandad.” Grandad? Guess I look older than I feel. FML

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By murphslaw - 29/03/2009 05:15 - United States

Today, as I was doing the morning count for the registers, a lady walked by and saw me. She's got Alzheimer's, and thought I was robbing the guy I'd bought the store from, so she called the cops. I spent six hours in jail while they looked into it, and didn't even get an apology. FML

agreeclassic 76 324

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By PC Jones - 20/09/2011 14:56 - Australia

Today, it was my first day as a police officer. A couple of hours into the shift, we got a call. A man was drunkenly jeering and urinating on parked cars. That man turned out to be my father. FML

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Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

agreeclassic 37 535

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By ahhahaha - 12/08/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

agreeclassic 69 993

vote type 1 4 702

Next

TOP COMMENTS

QueenSaru 28

Saturday 10 July 2021 15:22

'in those days' lol

Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 10 July 2021 17:13

"in those days" lmao not a damn thing has changed

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 35

Saturday 10 July 2021 13:15

Maybe he knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried! Don't ask about D.B. Cooper, though. He was cool.

QueenSaru 28

Saturday 10 July 2021 15:22

'in those days' lol

Crowned Sataness 12

Saturday 10 July 2021 17:13

"in those days" lmao not a damn thing has changed

Slim87R 7

Sunday 11 July 2021 3:44

Here's your chance to get some banger stories.

historygrad74 19

Sunday 11 July 2021 17:52

That's actually kind of funny in a horrible way

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Today, my dentist told me I have 8 cavities. I'd jokingly bragged about never having a single cavity for 25 years right before he started checking. He laughed and said, "Well, that lucky streak is over!" then went on to drill the shit out of my teeth. I still can't feel the left side of my face. FML

agreeclassic 342

vote type 1 169

Today, I was sitting at my desk eating cereal with my cat sleeping on my lap. I got a really funny text and I started laughing hysterically, and spilled my cereal all over my cat. I'll let you know how my legs, arms, neck and face heal up. FML

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vote type 1 13 614

Today, my girlfriend has some bruises from her karate class. We went shopping together and needless to say, I got quite a few dirty looks. FML

agreeclassic 888

vote type 1 99

Today, I found out that the man I met online was a fake Facebook account, made by my daughter and her friends. FML

agreeclassic 36 844

vote type 1 7 503

Today, we had a fish fry for Father's Day. I ended up getting a fish bone lodged in my tonsil, and I had to rush to the bathroom to pull it out. I threw up three times in the process and still didn't manage to get the bone out. FML

agreeclassic 14 069

vote type 1 1 120

Today, I started 2018 with a bad case of food poisoning. Not exactly the New Year's cleanse I was hoping for. FML

agreeclassic 3 255

vote type 1 326