Today, I told my grandpa that I want to join the police force. His response: "You wanna lynch some blacks without the jail time, eh?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my 98-year-old grandad has Alzheimer’s and seems to think I’m his senior officer from his first years as a police officer. Apparently a lot of illegal shit went on in those days, when cops were bigger crooks than the actual criminals were. FML
Today, my grandpa told us he wanted to fit in. His idea of fitting in is streaking in a park at 4:00 pm. FML
Today, my grandmother is upset I won't lie to the police for her and is now claiming that I'm involved in the Mafia. FML
Today, I went to pay my grandma a visit. She called the cops because she didn't recognize me and thought I was a robber. FML
Today, I told my dad I want to enlist in the army and he tried to lock me in my room. He did almost the same thing when I told him I wanted to do certain college courses to make it easier to become a police officer, only there was a lot more swearing and throwing of objects. FML
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML
Today, my grandfather scolded me for not wanting to go to my 12-year-old cousin's basketball game. This is the same grandfather that refused to go to my high school graduation. FML
Today, my son told me he wants to be a cop or enter the military when he grows up. Why? "Cops get paid to kill useless members of society" and "Only the military can stop communism." FML
Today, I spent several hours downtown with my violent grandma, after she was arrested for threatening a guy with a gun. His crime? "Trespassing" by ringing the doorbell and asking if she was interested in donating to charity. FML
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Top comments
ihartmytdi 23
Tell him you're actually more interested in the high speed horse-drawn carriage chases.
nooblper 21
Oh look, another fine sample of humanity.
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Comments (52)
xxhdxx 11
well he ain't wrong shoot nowadays police killing is if we so much as breath hard.
OrganicSistah 17
Truth!! They kill unarmed children for crying out loud.
EvilTurtle 35
I hope you two aren't being serious...
memeometer 11
I bet you didn't disagree ;)
Bragi 12
Go grampa!
kevinjiang 13
I hope he's not from the south...
Anubis95_fml 10
Has anybody else thought that op's dad could have been joking?
aspecialspecial 21
Just reading the comments made my brain hurt... So many people think racism is an issue... News flash no one talks about all the white guys who get killed for shit, oh wait they're white so obviously they don't matter -_-
iFevered 19
exactly..
TheGolfGTI 24
You can blame your "All lives matter" movement for that. Have you heard of Zachary Hammond? He was a white teen killed unjustly by police. Never mentioned in the media. Guess who gave it attention? That's right. The black lives matter movement. You can blame your own white media for not covering it. TL;DR: Get your biased bullshit out of here.
picax8398 12
Your Grandfather is like any other old timer not afraid to say what they think
gracehi 33
And comments will be disabled in 3... 2... 1
SoBeSatan 22
Either your grandpa has a great sense of humour or he is a little stuck in the past.
twopunchman 10
I sincerely hope he was just joking and even then it's still quite a dickish thing to say