Today, I told my girlfriend I needed someone to talk to because I just found out my aunt has cancer. She told me to talk to her in an hour, Spongebob was on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was working my shift at the store, my girlfriend appeared and asked to talk to me. Once we were alone, she burst into tears and started sobbing. Turns out someone's dad died in her favorite TV show and she wanted some comfort. FML
Today, my grandma was diagnosed with lung cancer. We're very close, and I called my boyfriend, really needing some support. I'd barely told him what had happened, when he replied, "Babe, I'm in the middle of a game here. Call me later." FML
Today, during a text conversation with a girl I've been trying to get with, she complained about how crummy of a day she was having. I told her it couldn't be as bad as she thought, and she would probably get it over it soon. Then she told me she had found out her cousin had been murdered. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend out for a romantic dinner, since we can't see each other this Valentine's Day. Halfway through, my aunt called, telling me my grandma had died. I had to leave because I was crying so much, leaving my girlfriend with a very pricey bill. FML
Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, I wanted to text my girlfriend but lately we'd been at a loss for things to talk about. I thought, "Come on, she's your girlfriend, what's the worst that could happen." One hour and twenty two minutes later, I was single. FML
Today, my wife, who recently had cancer, made an offhand comment that my 30-year-old sister took offense to. Instead of saying something, she went and called our parents. My dad then called and yelled at me for 5 minutes about it. FML
Today, my friend's dad had a heart attack. Without realizing what I was saying, I texted her, "If you need anything, you know I'll be there in a heartbeat." FML
Today, I bitched out my grandmother, who lives with my family, for being lazy and laying in bed until 6-7pm for the past month. When I was done, she told me she had been diagnosed with cancer and was depressed because of it. Nobody had bothered to tell me. FML
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Top comments
briedis 0
I love Spongebob :D But yeah, pretty insesitive girlfriend...
hpnerd 0
Spongebob is an hour long? Some girlfriend..
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Comments (175)
Misanthropist 0
Wow, #9 you're married at 19? I can't wait to read the FML for that in 4-6 months. OP, dude, Spongebob will cheer you up way more than your ignorant bitch of a girlfriend.
audiogasmic 0
Dude, what a bitch. On the bright side maybe she thought it was an april fool's joke and will feel bad later? and #42, no need to be so pessimistic. one of my best friends got married at 18 and she and her husband are completely in love. She's 20 now and they're been married 2 years, dating for 6. so keep your pessimistic stereotypes to yourself.
Safko 0
haha spongebob pwns you :P
Misanthropist 0
@#43: Wow, 2 years? You totally proved me wrong. It's a stereotype for a reason. Can't wait till they get to split up when one of them goes to college. Oh wait, neither of them will because they got married at 18, I forgot they don't let idiots into college. Maybe if they're lucky they can work at the same Wal-mart.
theatregrl2 0
excuse me, Misanthropist, one of my friends got married at 18 or 19 and is now 23 with a kid and one on the way and guess what, he's in college so stop acting like you're better than everyone.
acousticxxwench 0
sorry about your aunt. Dont date immature worthless bitches.
Misanthropist 0
#46, I am better than everyone, ya dig? Can't wait until he finds a better girl in college with no kid and a future! So many potential FMLs :) Enjoy your day kiddies.
theatregrl2 0
way to ignore the fact that you were wrong about people who get married in their late teens going to college. and just because your life sucks doesn't mean everyone's life is going to fall apart, ya dig?
King_of_Kings 3
#48 I AM THE KING OF KINGS!!
Misanthropist 0
#49 Well, if everyone's life fell apart no one would be stupid enough to try, there has to be a few exceptions that make the rule. :) Also, my life is awesome, just like me. #50, Nice! *air high-five*