Today, I told my friends I was kissed by a girl. They said "Yeah, probably by your mom." The sad thing is, they were right. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I told my mom I was with my female friend last night, because I wasn't ready to tell her about my new boyfriend. I didn't realize he gave me a hickey and now my whole family thinks I'm a lesbian. They won't stop making fun of me. FML
Today, I was told by my girlfriend that in the thralls of my drunken haze last night, I tried to French-kiss her mom. FML
Today, while at school, a bra fell out of my coat. After the initial shock, people started congratulating me on finally getting a girlfriend. I didn't have the heart to tell them it was my mom's. FML
Today, my Mom found out that I've been intimate with one of my best friends in the past. We used protection, it never went anywhere, and we ended it amicably, but she still gave me a huge lecture. Later, she high-fived and congratulated him. FML
Today, my mom bitched me out in front of my friends because I had my first kiss at "such a young age". She's 15 years older than me. FML
Today, my best friend told me he had a crush on someone in my house. I got excited, but he told me it was my mom. FML
Today, I was making out with some girl at a party and noticed that she wasn't very good at it. I tried to say, "You kiss like a 16 year-old doing it for the first time" but ended up saying, "You kiss like a 16 year-old." Upon saying that, a dozen people turned and looked at me, giving weird looks. FML
Today, I was talking to a friend about this stranger I kissed a few nights ago while drinking. I commented that I was ashamed of doing so, and to make matters worse, the guy was really unattractive. It turns out he was no stranger. I'd kissed my friend. FML
Today, after a long time convincing my parents that my boyfriend is really a good guy, not only did he decide to come by the house completely drunk, but he also ended up trying to kiss my mom, thinking it was me. FML
Today, I kissed a boy I have liked since the first day of university. I was thrilled until he followed it with, "Right, I don't think we should tell anyone this happened. Not that they'd believe it anyway." He then patted my ass and walked away. FML
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Top comments
MrConcise 35
Why would you even ******* brag about that?
feven 32
Welshite is human too.
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Comments (67)
Jennandco 25
Hopefully she's a MILF
Eyalsh 32
why do you incest on putting that picture in our minds? that only happens in ****.
prince_jimmy907 12
*insist
mackdeezy 22
Whoosh.... over yer head
alex_gen 39
*your
Cads1 24
Depends on the girl. But, your mum, not really the best example.
bab3ruthl3ss 16
So why bother trying to lie about it?
chefnoel22 11
That's not something you brag about
prince_jimmy907 12
looks like catherine fails at gender selection lol
Cads1 24
I don't think either gender would complain if she selected them.
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
YDI. If your friends had let you get away with this you'd probably start bragging about having got oral and anal when most people would refer to them as visiting the dentist and taking a shit.
Cads1 24
I don't think either gender would complain if they were selected by her.
KatieeMoe 14
That's kinda sad.