Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
Today, I have cynophobia. My dog-loving friend refuses to acknowledge that it's real. Her dogs are vicious and mean, and she believes it is cruel to muzzle them. Not to mention they're almost the size of me, and I'm 6'2 and 220lbs. This is literally why I have cynophobia in the first place. FML
Today, my mum has a rescue dog who grew up in a cage and, even after 18 months of love & stability, is still extremely loud and aggressive. So, bottom line, she ruined not only her own life, but also her partner’s, her cats’, mine, and the neighbours’, all so that ONE little arsehole canine can have a nice life. FML
Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML
Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I was walking my friend’s dog at the park as a favor. A stranger then struck up a little conversation with me about the dog. It turned out that the stranger I talked to was my friend’s landlord, who now knows that my friend was lying about her pet being a service animal and is threatening eviction. FML
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Top comments
igive 29
If treated right, dogs are the most loyal and loving creatures, don't listen to her.
MrConfusion 21
The only bad dogs are the ones raised bad. I love dogs and currently own two. Don't listen to her OP, and if you want to adopt a dog, I highly suggest it. Happy adopting :)
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Comments (88)
NYGiants1925 22
There's obviously something seriously wrong with your friend.
vegantreegirl 26
She has issues. Both cats and dogs are wonerful. I've always had both and none of them were aggressive.
writergirl1029 17
I'm a cat person, but I lived with six different dogs for a few years because they belonged to my roommates. They're naturally the sweetest creatures.
tlnorman 18
Your friend is straight up stupid.
JKPwnage 27
Maybe she's only saying that to contrast all the shit people say about ALL cats. Dogs and cats are both only bad or good based on whether they're treated well or poorly
Yuso_Yagari 9
Tell your bitch ass friend that dogs are way more loyal than cats. I should know because I had both. When my dog runs she comes back. When my cat runs. Well we're still looking for him. Tbh good riddance
GhostFox 34
Anyone who says "good riddance" about a missing pet should not be allowed to have any companion animals ever again.
aland733 3
I think she has cats and dogs mixed up. Dogs are great. Cats are satin.
freddygasman 18
yeah they can be little sheets, can't they. ;)
ligerzero459 24
Soft, fluffy sheets of evil! ;)
hannahkonda 14
Dogs are wonderful. My dog is my best friend.
GhostFox 34
It sounds a bit like OP's friend has a legitimate phobia of dogs- which doesn't excuse her failure to train her cats not to scratch. (Also, going to point out that "there are no bad pets only bad owners" is complete bullshit- animals have just as varied of personalities as humans, which means there are in fact animals that are just complete assholes, just like humans. They may even be nice to someone they like, but happily maul a passerby, much like how some serial killers have a person that they are fond of and will keep them alive because of it.)
Xion0014 20
Your friend's a dumbass