Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
Today, I have cynophobia. My dog-loving friend refuses to acknowledge that it's real. Her dogs are vicious and mean, and she believes it is cruel to muzzle them. Not to mention they're almost the size of me, and I'm 6'2 and 220lbs. This is literally why I have cynophobia in the first place. FML
Today, my mum has a rescue dog who grew up in a cage and, even after 18 months of love & stability, is still extremely loud and aggressive. So, bottom line, she ruined not only her own life, but also her partner’s, her cats’, mine, and the neighbours’, all so that ONE little arsehole canine can have a nice life. FML
Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML
Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I was walking my friend’s dog at the park as a favor. A stranger then struck up a little conversation with me about the dog. It turned out that the stranger I talked to was my friend’s landlord, who now knows that my friend was lying about her pet being a service animal and is threatening eviction. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
igive 29
If treated right, dogs are the most loyal and loving creatures, don't listen to her.
MrConfusion 21
The only bad dogs are the ones raised bad. I love dogs and currently own two. Don't listen to her OP, and if you want to adopt a dog, I highly suggest it. Happy adopting :)
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (88)
MonstreBelle 29
I have a friend with that same mindset. It doesn't help that I have a Pit Bull and a German Shepherd. While I was fostering my pittie (he had been rescued from a dog fighting ring where he was used as a bait dog), I fell completely in love with him and we were just such a good fit, so I decided to adopt him. She actually stopped talking to me for a while after I made that decision
freddygasman 18
the pit sounds like a better friend than your friend then.
MonstreBelle 29
He's the best friend a girl could ask for! Somehow, despite having suffered such horrific abuse, he still has unconditional love that he wants to show everyone he meets even though he has every reason to hate people.
spacefish966 18
Crazy cat lady
Catdragon 40
were you messing with her cat and missing the signs? cats usually give warnings when they're pissed, if it was just out of play, then you can't blame the cat. that's just how they are. I get clawed all the time when my cats are playful. but they never attack me out of anger. they've never growled at me, only each other but very rarely. they're like children. they're a reflection of their parents. every animal is different. please don't hate cats for scratching you.
countryb_cth 38
Some cats don't give a sign at all. We had a cat from a pet store (we swear it had brain damage) and she would come up to you and pur and want cuddles. Then out of no where she would attack you. She even attacked my mom while she was feeding her. That cat was evil. We had her since a kitten and gave her all the love and care we could but something was very wrong with her.
scyth3s 13
I currently have a dog that randomly has self harming bouts where he spins in circles and bites his own leg. Special needs animals are work, but dogs can be crazy too.
latchhooker 17
I have a cat that doesn't always give warning signs. Sometimes she loves you, others she hates you. She loves to lay on beds or laps and normally doesn't mind if you sit beside her. She attacked my face for sitting beside her the other day. I ended up with 3 scratches across my nose, a scratch under one eye, a claw mark under my other my other eye, and she got a claw stuck in my lip. All for sitting beside her. All with absolutely NO warning. Sometimes she will warn (growl, hiss, etc.) but not always. She's also epileptic (has seizures) so her personality can yoyo based on how her health is that day.
latchhooker 17
I looked like I got in a fight by the time I got her claw out of my lip and blood was running down my face and all over my shirt and bed (my blood doesn't always clot right). Easter (the cat) ran from my room as I ran for the peroxide and gauze. Mom just shook her head. I had to avoid people for the next couple days because people (including friends) thought I had been beaten up by someone. It's funny now (I wasn't happy at that point though). Stupid cat and her goofed up brain.
The_Majestique 18
Dogs will actually never (almost never) maul you to pieces if trained correctly. I have two German Shepherds and I've never had the slightest feeling that they would hurt me. I actually spend a lot of time cuddling with them :) good luck.
dcobb0551 10
I would prefer dogs over cats anyway, just my personal opinion OP! We had a cat once, but it tore up almost all of the furniture... we've since gotten a dog, and so far so good! Have a Merry Christmas!!
kelizsaiz 4
As a CAT person... unless you are her room mate & planning on moving a dog into her home, screw her! Dogs are wonderful companions. Please rescue/adopt, don't buy.
davek 36
Crazy cat lady!
simsgirlgem 25
unless you are her room mate i cut ties cause dogs if not abused are gentle things who love unconditionally that's why they're called mans best friend
writerchic85 26
Cats are awesome. I prefer them to dogs. She's wrong about them being born evil, but still I've never heard of being mauled to death by a house cat.
freddygasman 18
because they're smarter than that. they just trip you going down the stairs
SOILEDIT 51
I guess she seems more like a cat person...