Today, I told my friend I was considering adopting a dog. She looked at me like I was Satan and went on a rant about how dogs are "born evil" and will always maul someone given the chance. I still have the marks from when one of her psycho cats sliced open my arm last month. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was walking my dog, some self-righteous animal activist berated me on how it was animal abuse to put my dog on a leash. Despite warning her, she crouched down to undo it, my dog charged at her, giving her a gash on the cheek. She kicked my dog for it, and is now threatening to sue me. FML
Today, after a serious argument with my friend about how his dog seems to hate me for no reason, I decided that it's my responsibility to show his dog that I mean no harm. I started off by giving him his favorite treat. He got excited and practically inhaled it… then started barking at me again. FML
Today, a crazed woman started screaming at me at the dog park. She was saying that I was cruel and unfit to be a pet owner, and she ought to kick my ass. My dog's ears and tail were cropped before I even got him. He’s a rescue and came to me like this. She wouldn’t listen and followed me to my car. FML
Today, my "friends" showed me a video of them pranking my arachnophobic coworker with a fake toy spider. She cried. I told them very bluntly that they're horrible people and owe her an apology. They responded by getting their mean ass dog to antagonize me. I'm afraid of dogs. FML
Today, I have cynophobia. My dog-loving friend refuses to acknowledge that it's real. Her dogs are vicious and mean, and she believes it is cruel to muzzle them. Not to mention they're almost the size of me, and I'm 6'2 and 220lbs. This is literally why I have cynophobia in the first place. FML
Today, my mum has a rescue dog who grew up in a cage and, even after 18 months of love & stability, is still extremely loud and aggressive. So, bottom line, she ruined not only her own life, but also her partner’s, her cats’, mine, and the neighbours’, all so that ONE little arsehole canine can have a nice life. FML
Today, I had to very seriously and very slowly explain to my friend why having a bat mitzvah for her dog was a very ignorant and insulting idea. FML
Today, I found out why my mother has treated me like dogshit since the day I was born. I was apparently born during a solar eclipse, which in her twisted mind meant I was born evil, with a black soul. I train dogs for blind people, yet she insists I must have a sinister motive even for that. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I started fighting. Instead of arguing for herself, she decided to set her puppy on me. Only "Puppy" is the name of her fully-grown police-trained German Shepherd. FML
Today, I was walking my friend’s dog at the park as a favor. A stranger then struck up a little conversation with me about the dog. It turned out that the stranger I talked to was my friend’s landlord, who now knows that my friend was lying about her pet being a service animal and is threatening eviction. FML
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Top comments
igive 29
If treated right, dogs are the most loyal and loving creatures, don't listen to her.
MrConfusion 21
The only bad dogs are the ones raised bad. I love dogs and currently own two. Don't listen to her OP, and if you want to adopt a dog, I highly suggest it. Happy adopting :)
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Comments (88)
chosha_fml 27
I really hope you said exactly that to her.
pixierara 28
Neither one is born evil, what the heck.
GokuSS400 18
You need to ditch this "friend"…dogs are the most sweet and loving things in the world (just look at my profile pic for proof :P )
Railroader 16
Talk about crazy cat lady...
katina1236 20
She's a cat person. Don't take it seriously. And some cats are temperamental. And as for dogs if they're raised properly they make amazing companions. And can be used for so many different things in today's society. And remember it doesn't matter where the dog comes from as long as it has a loving home.
greenwichgal 15
Maybe she had a bad experience...
MrZsDad 19
Hmmm is this friend perpetually single?
meegal 12
Dogs > cats. Dogs are the superior pet.
WorryNot 19
Cats tend to be evil genius ninjas though
caaguilar 18
The cats are starting to rule the world