Today, my boyfriend yet again unsuccessfully tried to hold in uncontrollable giggling every time I moaned or sighed during sex. He's 24. I'm terrified of his reaction should I ever reach an orgasm with him. FML
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Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend tried to be dominant during sex. It was so out of character for him, I couldn't help but break into hysterical laughter. FML
Today, my boyfriend won't talk to me because I let a giggle slip during sex and he's convinced I was laughing at him. FML
Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. As I started getting close to having my first ever orgasm, I got extremely short of breath and started hyperventilating. His reaction was to cover my mouth to shut me up. FML
Today, after his second week of babysitting, my boyfriend has begun the disturbing habit of saying, "Ready or not, here I come!" every time he's about to orgasm. He doesn't see why this doesn't appeal to me. FML
Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that I needed to moan louder so that he knew I was enjoying it. Reluctantly, I put a little 'umph' into my moans during the next round. He pulled out and said, "It's just awkward now." FML
Today, my boyfriend said we can't have sex with the light on anymore. He said he can never finish because the face I make when I orgasm makes him laugh. FML
Today, my boyfriend got so happy when he thought he'd finally given me an orgasm. I was covering an urge to sneeze. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
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Top comments
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Your boyfriend will have a laughgasm.
therealslim 15
Just refuse to have sex with him. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW
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Comments (178)
Razzle_Dazzle_5 11
Your boyfriend will have a laughgasm.
GoingCommando93 14
Or she makes funny sounds during sex? Who knows?
jackassiddy 8
1- Haahahahahaaha-squirt-aahahaha! ?
GoingCommando93 14
21, That's just gross.
mrlopez 13
#21: That was pretty epic...
FMLshark 12
Then get off the internet, 56, because if you think THAT'S gross, you're in for a pretty big surprise.
GoingCommando93 14
Yeah. I've seen it all. Bluewaffle. 2girls 1cup. But that doesn't mean it's still not gross, even slightly.
Grammar_Nazi01 5
Withhold sex for a small while. See what he finds funny then.
happle 21
87-It would be inappropriate in the real world, but this is the internet. Let him have fun.
pimpnainteasy 5
Lol @87 omg you saw those man you are badass. I wish I could be like you. It actually turns me on more when a girl squirts so grow the **** up
hnz 13
Tell him about it? Tell him you're uncomfortable with it
FMLshark 12
This is why you shave.
Hamden824 23
What does shaving have to do with anything???
GothicAngel17 24
Are you sure he isn't 14, at least in the head?
VVeetard 8
Dont be so quick to blame the boyfriend. Consider the possibility that OP sounds like a donkey when moaning.
nofearjenshere 12
^ Haha I can just picture it. OP: Oh, oh, oh yeah, yeah, EEE-HAWW EEE-HAW!
Druifje88 3
Eh, isn't that most of the times with boys?? Young in mind ;)
TaysDarkLust 11
@98, Maybe she's the one that sounds like a Zombie? (old FML..)
BirdieCurls 25
#103 I just spit Dr. Pepper all over my phone from laughing at that
MotherHen88 4
Sounds like your boyfriend is really just a little school girl.
therealslim 15
*sigh*, he sounds really immature..
therealslim 15
Just refuse to have sex with him. WHO'S LAUGHING NOW
geko911 22
I'm sure OP wants sex too...
kamikrazy 6
Agreed
wtf20007 10
Agreed with 52 100%
Furrywhiplash 14
Wow... People take things so seriously. It was a simple joke, no need to get all rwar about it. And maybe instead of no sex, just duct tape his mouth shut and dominate him. If that doesn't get him to stop, go with the no sex and invest in a vibrator.
SkyBirdy 5
I love how 61's name is furryWHIPLASH. *hint on the domination*
Jaxx66 21
124, the way you say it makes me think more along the lines of tying the partner up, who's dressed in a cat costume. FURRYwhiplash.
Eiregal2 10
I agree with 52. being raised Catholic sex was a sinful wicked thing, more so for women! maybe he had that pounded in his brain at church too. I used to believe it had no effect on me but I've been celibate for nine years now as I just don't enjoy it. fecking Catholics! lol
LunaBee3105 3
i like how people live under the assumption that you cant live without sex or that sex is somehow a neccessity to a relationship XD goddamn people get control of your hormones!!! (lol just a joke people dont get your panties in a knot XD)
molliepop19 5
136 I'm catholic as well. However, we've never been taught that sex is a sinful thing. I don't know what church you've been going to, but at mine, Its very common for families to have lots of children. Pretty sure they had to have sex to make all of them.
xleanne_aLly 23
142 you're pretty sure? Really? I think he's talking about the no sex before marriage thing. How it's suppose to be secret or something.
jackassiddy 8
...Maybe his penis is ticklish? :o
bwtchinheels 0
Wtf that doesn't even make sense.
emeraldisle 30
Maybe he's giggling because he's nervous? *shrug*
afallingstar 22
Nervous he's going to finish too fast? Maybe hes using mental images to not finish so fast and they're hilarious?
lyssa_jean 7
Tie a string to his balls and tell him that everytime he giggles you are going to give it a nice tug...... Im sure hed figure out a way to control it then.....
JSwerv3 6
and that is how a Ball-Torture fetish is created...
emilydotawesome 1
Very primitive.. I like it.
lyssa_jean 7
I actually read about some village where the husbands of laboring women would stand on top of the hut with a rope tied to their balls and the wife, laboring below, qould pull the rope every time she had a contraction.......
muFilter 19
What the **** have you been reading, 149?
afallingstar 22
I would imagine that would make a guy think twice about having sex...
eman1972 4
I like where you're going with that. LOL
princessAj1 6
That sucks . Sigh. Lol
SkoomaKi 28
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
If he makes you ****** (probably unlikely due to the laughing), he'll probably think you're having a fit and pissing everywhere. Which is what it basically looks like.
jackassiddy 8
^ The ****?
Jaxx66 21
Last time I checked, those 'squirters' are rare.
MiniNyn 5
Someone watches too much "squirting" ****.
SkoomaKi 28
#23 - They're rare, but you still get them. Just making a joke, not to be taken seriously.
jackassiddy 8
27-Well now I just feel bad.
SkoomaKi 28
#36 - It's okay, I don't think my comment came across as funny.
esines 9
Made me laugh
laden_swallow09 35
The "squirt" isn't urine. It has a different texture, viscosity, and completely different taste and smell to it. It keeps coming out as long as the orgasms keep going, as opposed emptying the bladder, and thats it. The total amount of fluid that comes out depends on the individual and ranges from a few tablespoons to an entire pint. While sexologists, urologists, and gynecologists are still debating over what exactly the "squirt" is, it isn't pee.
laden_swallow09 35
Unfortunately, he probably WILL think it's pee and freak out. That's where trust and communication breaks down.
katiedoll6 7
88 I bit to much info thanks
laden_swallow09 35
121 - Quit whining. It's science.
SkyBirdy 5
Its funny how #88 knows how pee tastes 0.0
SkyBirdy 5
Its funny how 88 knows what pee tastes like 0.0
SkyBirdy 5
I failed *facepalm*
laden_swallow09 35
Yes, 125, my childhood was one of constant discovery.