Today, I told my five year-old daughter that no, she could not have ice cream for breakfast. She retaliated by pooping in the living room and smearing it on the walls. My in-laws, whom I've been trying to impress for ages, are visiting today. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I told my daughter that she wasn't allowed to eat in her room, so she sat at the table and glared at me for 10 minutes while she ate. She's 15. FML
Today, I finished off the last of the BBQ chips in the house. When my 6-year-old sister found out about it, she started screaming, then pulled down her pants and peed on the kitchen floor. My parents, after witnessing the whole thing, bitched me out for upsetting her. FML
Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML
Today, I came down with food poisoning of some sort. After hours of scrambling to the toilet to vomit and empty my bowels, my three-year-old daughter got fed up and is now trying to potty-train me. FML
Today, my daughter had ice cream while I was napping. She didn't want me to know so she put the bowl in the trashcan and put the spoon in the garbage disposal and turned it on, because she thought it would make the spoon disappear. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Today, my five-year-old daughter told me she was going to throw up. I told her to rush to the bathroom. I followed her a few seconds later, only to find her sitting on the toilet and vomiting onto the floor. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, my five year-old niece thought that it would be acceptable to carve her artwork all over our toilet seat. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
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Top comments
dyschordia 0
That's some awesome parenting you must have provided to wind up with a horrible little brat like that - well done!
Cr4zyd4wg 0
Sounds like a good, proper spanking is in order.
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Comments (60)
aardvarkish 17
Nah... typing on the computer is a much better response.
leprechaun23 15
why are you talking about it wen u should be cleaning it up
aardvarkish 17
FYI fecal smearing is a sign of a mental disorder. Nevertheless, I would hang her on the wall by her ankles where she could have her nose in that stuff while scourging her with a cat o' nine tails.
Clover2009 0
Holy ****. Please never breed.
clarkie007 0
what disorder would that be exactly?
lucins 7
a good spank on her butt will teach her the lesson!
taytoc 10
say u were taking in tornado victims into ur house and they made a bit of a mess from some mud they were laying in.
Igor_g5 0
Think you need to learn how to discipline your daughter rather than letting her discipline you.
Pinkanani 12
Wow, just how spoiled do you have this child?!? Discipline that little brat, make her clean it up, and seriously talk to your husband on how to handle this situation to give her not only a swat, but a life-long lesson! That behavior is uncalled for! Chances are, you're the kind of person that doesn't believe in "spanking" your child. If that is the case, then you clearly deserve it, and that's what you get for thinking you can successfully raise a child without discipline!!!
iLoveBoobies21 0
Shoulda gave that bitch some ice cream!
niyah4sho 11
ummmmm.. febreeze??
MagicMarker 0
YDI for raising such an abhorrent little brat. Disgusting. Honestly, people want to know what's wrong with society these days? This is it, right here. People don't discipline their kids. The little brats grow up thinking they can get away with whatever they want, scot-free, then--surprise, surprise!--become adults with no personal accountability, responsibility, or empathy whatsoever. People, please, for the love of all that's sacred: if you care about your kids, even a tiny smidgen, DISCIPLINE THEM. Don't try to be their friend. Be their parent.
YayFlameWarz 9
Now before you bust yet another blood vessel. First I suggest buying a stress ball. Second maybe i'm wrong but I would assume the OP beat her daughter maybe not though. Third society is not filled with people who smear feces on walls. Now go breathe into a paper bag before you hyper ventilate