Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied, dead serious, "That's nice and all, but anal speaks louder than words." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the very first time in three years. Apparently, all it took was anal. FML
Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me for the first time. He followed it with, "Want to try anal?" FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He responded by asking for a blowjob. FML
Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend that I love him. He replied by telling me to fuck off. FML
Today, while at dinner, I told my boyfriend that I wished he liked sushi. He replied, "I wish you liked anal." FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML
Today, I looked my boyfriend in the eyes and said, "I love y-" He cut me off with, "Babe, a blowjob's worth a thousand words" and held eye contact until I awkwardly excused myself. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to tell me how much he loves me. He said a lot of wonderful things, such as not being able to live without me and hoping that I would want to live with him and marry him someday. He ended his loving speech with his ex-girlfriend's name instead of mine. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML
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Top comments
PandaSmile 24
Buy a strap on and tell him you're ready to go next time he wants sex. Or dump him.
JaffaMC 13
He sounds like a pain in the ass, FYL
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Comments (100)
amileah13 26
Prick
worldclassrager 41
Why is anal so big with guys? It's not the same... Actions speak louder than words is what he meant...he misspoke
A07 48
There's always the one on fmls like this, you're it this time.
dutchy86 20
give him the rusty fishhook!
GrinchFu1 27
I'm guessing your boyfriend is 15? Either that or he's hilarious.
Vesi 30
or he *thinks* he's hilarious.. Frankly I'm inclined to believe he is not emotionally involved and that is manipulation.. "If you love me you'll do this.."
Soverain 15
What is with the fascination for anal?
Leinster 2
I've always thought it was because of the tightness, but idk
patte_fml 19
Calm down ladies. This is just a wish list / humor of 1 guy out of 3. Anal is just another zone of your body where you can give or receive pleasure. Don't ignore it and write your butt off as a Doo-Doo station.
leogachi 15
@29 So you would let a girl use a strap-on with you? Because if not, you're pretty hypocritical in telling people who aren't interested in having things inserted into their anuses to give it a try when you're not interested in the very same thing.
dec4y 9
Um, no. It's one thing to say "Hey, I'd really like to try anal with you" in a healthy relationship where you can openly talk about your preferences, but something completely different to say "If you love me, then you'd have anal sex with me". That's just manipulative, dickish behavior, even if it's meant to be humorous. I'm not gonna advocate for a break-up, but some serious talk would be in order if my SO talked to me like that.
Mynxie 26
@23 Not all women receive pleasure from anal. I have had talked to a bunch of my female friends before I tried it once and half said they got pleasure out of it and the other half said they didn't.
bonermonkey 31
have you ever considered that a guy who says 'you would if you loved me' is manipulative asshole who doesn't have a problem coercing someone into sex? I'd run for the hills and never come back....
Jets4Life89 4
You claim to love a man who responds with that? Don't kid yourself, if you stay with him you deserve a crap life, he is obviously not emotionally mature nor is he NEAR the same level as you relationship wise, you do not love him you just think you do.
leogachi 15
@35 You're not Op. You don't get to decide what her feelings are.
Jets4Life89 4
Yeah you are right I'm sure she is gonna be with him forever. No the truth is 90% of people these days claim to be in love and don't look at the CLEAR OBVIOUS SIGNS that they are not, like the OP's situation. If she thinks she loves anal boy more power to her but she is NOT in love with him.
leogachi 15
@38 One thing her asshat of a boyfriend says doesn't define how Op feels about him. They could have the most dysfunctional relationship ever and still be in love.
ChibiChibi_fml 28
The boyfriend's feelings towards the OP do not dictate the OP's feelings towards her boyfriend. She may very well be in love with him. He just might not be in love with her. The two things are not mutually exclusive. Unrequited love is a real thing. Plus you can be in a terribly dysfunctional relationship and still actually love each other. The problem is that love is not always enough to actually make a relationship work.
Jryan952015 7
Don't you know the jets suck at football Lets go GIANTS!!!
revidffum69 22
Maybe he doesn't feel the same way yet, and was totally caught off guard and didn't want to hurt her feelings??
yerawizardlizzy 27
If that's the case, he succeeded anyway.