Anonymous
Canada
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Dr Pepper
I'm not sad. Or am I?
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
gorokhan2
The opposite of a good idea
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Anonymous
Clarksburg, United States
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
WetMorning
United States
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Anonymous
Karma delivers
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Maybe I'll stay home
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
DSM
United States
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Fast response
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Top comments
DaDezza244 31
What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes
A100893 30
I guess you didn't see eye to eye.
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Comments (167)
captainburke 5
Now that's excessive
phantom55_fml 7
maybe you eyed her wrong when you said it. btw OP i know what you went through. ive been pepper sprayed for training and it sucks hope your ok
sougstad 7
Sounds like a dike with a chip on her shoulder against men.
mosquito19 14
did you say that while drooling?
sacmaster 11
I mean if it was the middle of the night in a dark city alley when u gave her that complement (which im assuming it wasn't cause u cud see her eyes) then maybe her action cud be justified. But in most other circumstances, that is just a bitchy and overreactive thing to do. I feel for u and hope ur eyes r doing alright OP:)
supportcommand 17
You, could, your, are
tabbycat2007 22
I'm, because**
Peacelove0404 26
Compliment*
sacmaster 11
Haters
SHUTTHEFRIGUP 3
Women logic
skullofdarkness 18
I think I've seen that on a shirt- read something like "you have such big, beautiful... Eyes... Can I touch them?"
Mandybruin 15
"You have very pretty eyes." "They would look nice in the jar on my shelf."
BunchieRules 31
I instantly thought of the Dating Site Murderer after reading this... even though he says the creepy part first. Thanks for the laugh.
photoquilty 6
I get the feeling there might be more to the story...
klutzyduck1 24
That's exactly what I was thinking when I read this. I highly doubt it was innocuous as it's being presented.
supportcommand 17
For her to flip out like that you must have sounded like a total creep. YprobablyDI. If not, then you're better off without a loose cannon like that. Crazy bitch.