Anonymous
Canada
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Dr Pepper
I'm not sad. Or am I?
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
gorokhan2
The opposite of a good idea
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Anonymous
Clarksburg, United States
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
WetMorning
United States
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Anonymous
Karma delivers
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Maybe I'll stay home
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
DSM
United States
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Fast response
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Top comments
DaDezza244 31
What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes
A100893 30
I guess you didn't see eye to eye.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (167)
I_Has_A_Fishy 12
Were you pitching a tent while conversing with her by any chance? Perhaps she got it confused with the "purty mouth" line. Sorry OP, you really didn't deserve that. I wish more people would pay simple, yet sincere, compliments to others more often. Good for you for trying to be kind to others.
SeniorHaG 4
Is she still the apple of your eyes?
BunchieRules 31
Nope, more like the pepper now.
damnu 3
Next time, tell her that before she spots you following her in the night as she gets home...
Alphakhiash 13
This is why I've stopped being nice to people I don't know...
KiddNYC1O 22
Wow. Fist... Down... Uranus... Lol.
spiritfang11237 16
Did you just do "The Creep" right before?
trellz17 19
I guess she's not really used to compliments. Sorry about your eyes.
Jeffo193 13
And people wonder why chivalry is dead?
TheMathMajor 26
It's obviously because of the rapists and murderers that make some women paranoid and cary pepper spray. ;D
ebonyirony 29
It isn't quite dead, just haemorrhaging terribly.
GamerG0DDESS 29
chivalry: "the medieval knightly system with its religious, moral, and social code," kind of glad it ended...no more battling for a woman's honor with swords and chain armor. I'm also joking, the knightly code also has the personality aspects of bravery, valor, courage, honor, courtesy, politeness, mannerliness, and etcetera. But the majority of "chivalry" isn't as what many people know it to be.
Bakarra 22
bitches be trippin
tygerarmy 35
That's assault. I hope you're okay.
PiaMiaPerez 1
Well you probably said it creepily and you know it lol
jollyton 10
That's just insane... Or she was probably judging by appearance. He complimented her. She took one look and didn't like how he Looked and it creeped her out and her reaction was "Eeeew! Ugly man!!!" Spray, Spray, Spray!!! I don't care she had no good reason to do that!