Anonymous
Canada
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Dr Pepper
I'm not sad. Or am I?
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
gorokhan2
The opposite of a good idea
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Anonymous
Clarksburg, United States
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
WetMorning
United States
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Anonymous
Karma delivers
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Maybe I'll stay home
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
DSM
United States
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Fast response
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Top comments
DaDezza244 31
What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes
A100893 30
I guess you didn't see eye to eye.
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Comments (167)
andthepennydrops 6
**then runs away, laughing maniacally*
keyshwantembo 0
I've been kicked in the nuts for that but never pepper spray that's rough
the_true_batman 10
If you ever see her again knock her teeth out.
vettle 6
Yeaaaah, there must be more to the story! Were you spying on her? Did you pop out of the bushes? stalk her on facebook?
the_true_batman 10
You're blaming the victim. I bet when your friend comes to you crying about being raped you say: Yeaaaah, there must be more to the story! Were you flirting with him? Did you flash him your bush? Send him sexy messages on Facebook?
wellthatsukx 0
Sue. That's assault.
pocketspock 3
I feel sorry for both the young man and young woman in the story. I will say that I have gone to the other side of the street when approaching women late at night for fear of making them uncomfortable - thus making me uncomfortable for posing no threat but being worried about the outcome of appearing to be one in the woman's eyes.
MISSJMAGIC 6
aw she obviously can't take a compliment
wubbazugg 5
Yet more reasons why guys just can't randomly compliment girls anymore. Stupid bitches.
Max1468 4
What a ******* 8itch. I'm really sorry to hear that. ::::(
kay2kay 1
How do we know he wasn't being creepy when he said that? You're eyes are so pretty... can I have them?