Anonymous
Canada
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Dr Pepper
I'm not sad. Or am I?
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
gorokhan2
The opposite of a good idea
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Anonymous
Clarksburg, United States
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
WetMorning
United States
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Anonymous
Karma delivers
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Maybe I'll stay home
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
DSM
United States
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Fast response
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Top comments
DaDezza244 31
What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes
A100893 30
I guess you didn't see eye to eye.
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Comments (167)
ShioriTsumi 13
I've had a similar experience, but I didn't end up hitting him. I live in Southern Texas, where the population is predominantly Hispanic. So I was doing my classwork and a guy leaned on my desk and stared at me for a really long moment before finally asking "Are your eyes really blue?" "......Yes." "Cool. They're really pretty." With that, he wandered back to his desk on the other side of the classroom and let the subject drop. I was creeped out since he was staring at me before giving the compliment, but hitting or pepper spraying someone who's complimenting you is excessive. (Technically, depending on where exactly you are, could even be grounds for assault.)
aaliyahsagirah 5
What the hell is wrong with people these days. It seems like whenever someone gives someone else a compliment, it's automatically 'sexual harassment'. Are people really so stuck up these days that they think that just because someone compliments you, they're automatically gunna rape you?
CodeXana 9
Wow what a bitch. Unless your comment was accompanied by a nice, friendly molestation she had no right and hopefully you brought it to court, OP
doglover100 29
Depends how you said it maybe. Lately though people take everything as harassment.
nichelback3505 0
Id press charges for assault.
Epikouros 32
Get your rapist hands off her shoulder now Damn your greed and your need to protect your ass We're crazy, furious filled with Mother Rage We're after your head now, and you can't get away. (c) Katy Fire, 1978.
Jasonf6 0
Call the cops as that is assault. Stupid bitch for overreacting.
DukeLeto 14
Lather, rinse, repeat.
EvilDave 13
I hope you had her arrested for aggrivated assault and battery.
andthepennydrops 6
"Now you can have pretty eyes, too!" *sprays with pepper spray*