Anonymous
Canada
Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Dr Pepper
I'm not sad. Or am I?
Today, to protect me from the 'bad people' out there, my mom bought some pepper spray. While trying to test it, I accidentally sprayed myself in the eyes. Now, every person I meet asks me what I've been crying about. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I told the woman that I've had a crush on for some time how I felt. She laughed so hard that water sprayed from her nose and hit me in the face. FML
gorokhan2
The opposite of a good idea
Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML
Anonymous
Clarksburg, United States
Today, while on the bus, I took out my breath spray. The elderly lady beside me thought it was pepper spray. She panicked and started screaming, which culminated in the man near her punching me in the jaw. FML
WetMorning
United States
How? Why?
Today, my day started with me peeing in my own face. My eye still burns. FML
Anonymous
Karma delivers
Today, while squishing a stink bug, it sprayed directly in my eye. FML
Anonymous
Saskatoon, Canada
Maybe I'll stay home
Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML
DSM
United States
Today, I was going to attempt to compliment my girlfriend, I planned on telling her that she smelled really nice. In a loving tone, I confidently told her, "Baby, you have a certain stench to you." FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Fast response
Today, my mom bought me pepper spray in case anyone tried to "mess" with me. I put it in my purse. Later, a guy snatched my purse before I even had the chance to take out the pepper spray. FML
Top comments
DaDezza244 31
What a bitch. At least you were being kind :) sorry to hear about your eyes
A100893 30
I guess you didn't see eye to eye.
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Comments (167)
ramseytt69 8
Are you sure you didn't scare her with your looks??
perdix 31
A pedo doesn't expect a 7-year-old to be armed with pepper spray. Usually, one takes one's hand off one's crotch when delivering such a compliment.
Crazberry 5
And puts pants on.
Crazberry 5
That's so stupid. All guys tend to say to me is either that I'm good looking (not that I'm complaining about that but the only ones who say that are old...) or that I have a pretty mouth... *shudder*. I'd love to have my eyes complimented by a stranger, it would make my day. Not to mention it would be a little less creepy.
happylawyer 16
In life, you can say almost anything and get away with it. The key is not what is said, but how it is said. . Where you looking at her eyes from a reasonable distance while saying it? :-/
PeteyPablo12308 20
Well, I hope she is ready to donate her eyes for the cornea transplant you'll be needing now... What a bitch.
beach_babe89 11
What a bitch! If that's how she treats everyone who gives her a complement then she will get what she deserves one day
TurquoiseJesus 15
Bitches be crazy.
HumanWiki 8
What a ****. I hope you gave her a blackeye.
pencilcozy 1
You can thank all the bastards who think a compliment is an instant pass to sex. I once had a guy said I had beautiful eyes then he asked me for my phone number. When I said I rather not give it out, he called me a stuck up bitch who should die and do the world a favor. This stuff escalates quickly on both sides.
ImTheAlpha 30
Some people are so paranoid.