Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML
Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML
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Top comments
MidnightRain3 16
Ouch. Lol
hannah_cheers 30
If he cares more about looks than personality, he isn't worth it, OP. Find someone who will find you beautiful no matter what.
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Comments (133)
RuthDaGreatest 6
Wasn't expecting him to say that.....that must of hurt
fantasyworld 39
He deserves a lump of coal.
Zeishah 26
Aw you're cute op! Next time find someone who appreciates that bout you.
blehh818 6
gold star babe you tried
Hash13 13
Just laugh it off. He may come bk appreciatin your humor. Or u just dodge a bullet.
JKPwnage 27
BURN
Parvati48 15
Ouch, sorry OP. He isn't worth your time and effort though. :/
sylverdrag_fml 9
Well, sorry, I am the last one in stock.
jaydemonkey 6
What an asshole
pitapizzaparty 18
He sounds thirsty . I would say give him a water bottle for christmas but i think he needs some coal