Today, I thought it would be cute to put on a Santa hat and ask my crush what he wanted for Christmas. He said "A girlfriend." I took off my Santa hat and yelled "Ta-da!" He added, "An ATTRACTIVE girlfriend." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I sent a text message to a guy I like, saying, "Dear Santa, I want to fall in love." He replied: "Wait for next Christmas..." FML
Today, I dressed up as Santa Claus for my employees' children. After seeing all the others, my daughter's turn arrived. She sat on my lap, put her lips to my ear, and whispered softly: "I want a new dad." FML
Today, I asked out the man of my dreams. He's smart, attractive, and has a steady job. Imagine my surprise when he accepted. Then imagine my surprise when he followed up with, "Hah, just kidding. You're fucking BORING!" FML
Today, I decided to finally talk to my crush. I said, "Hello" to which he replied, "First, dye your hair blonde and grow some boobs, then we can talk business." FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
Today, I felt fairly depressed about being single for the holidays during work. This cute girl came to my register asking about our sales ad. After telling her we had no copies, she asked for my number. I shouted: "Finally, someone wants to go out with me." She wanted the store's number to call. FML
Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams, the girl I've loved for 3 years. I went to her desk and surprised her with roses, chocolates, and played “All I Want for Christmas is You.” She said no. On top of that, she ate all the chocolates. FML
Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML
Today, my girlfriend gave herself a graduation gift: a new boyfriend. FML
Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML
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Top comments
MidnightRain3 16
Ouch. Lol
hannah_cheers 30
If he cares more about looks than personality, he isn't worth it, OP. Find someone who will find you beautiful no matter what.
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Comments (133)
Kayjose 8
did anybody else say "oh shit" when they finished reading this. i must honestly say I'm sorry that happened to you.
aliciabaird1269 11
Sorry OP. Sounds like you deserve better than him anyway. Hope you find a guy that appreciates you!
MAXINEEE 4
That's awkward... Soooo what did you say back! I would've said "yeah, and...you're looking at one"
vikky538 29
that's a smartest way of asking...good.luck OP...
blackonblight 33
Wow, presumptuous much? Maybe it was that very "here I am you wish has been granted" attitude that made you unattractive to him in the first place. Seriously, how many guys actually get a girl with the "ok, I'm here, what are your other two wishes" bullshit? Like, .01%? This is the same sort of thing. Though in general the term 'crush' tends to make me think shallow meaningless sexual attraction only appeal, so perhaps I'm biased.
momac86 17
Or just an idiot
Axel5238 29
I agree, if a guy were to do the same it'd be cute, but ultimately kinda shallow. The term "crush" generally gives the idea the don't know each other personally and even if they did it's a huge assumption that you are what they are looking for in a relationship. The whole "here I am" thing doesn't sit well. As, you said it's a great assumption that you'd be one of their wishes. Still, he could've phrased it better.
momac86 17
Geez what a jerk you should give him a stocking full of reindeer poop
Maggi_1997 15
Cheer up OP! everyone has a different definition of "attractive". You'll find someone better!
DianaFrances411 13
Oh my god. Jackass. You don't need him, OP. You don't need anyone who's that insensitive.
mister_icicle 17
Find out who is crushing on *you*, and date them. You'll get the adoration and attention you deserve!
Tannasgh 22
How decidedly lacking in chivalry...