douglas
United States
Today, I surprised my four year-old daughter with a stuffed dinosaur. She named it "Horny". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Chula Vista, United States
Today, I gave my 5-year-old daughter a unicorn pillow pet. She ended up giving him an ill-advised name, and has been loudly proclaiming to everyone she sees that her pillow pet is Horny. FML
Anonymous
Don't worry!
Today, my girlfriend of four months asked me to babysit her four-year-old daughter. All went well, and she texted me to see how she was. I wanted to say “a little ornery”. My phone auto corrected ornery to horny. She didn't appreciate that her four-year-old daughter was a little horny from her boyfriend. FML
parentof5
United States
Today, my 4 year old daughter walked in while I was changing my shirt. She said "When I get older I am going to have big boobies just like you." I'm her dad. FML
anonymous
United States
Today, my 4 year-old daughter's favorite expression became "shit balls." FML
Maryann
Word of the day
Today, my four year-old daughter asked me what the word “necrophilia” means. I have no idea where she even heard that. FML
Herdad
United States
Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML
Oblivious
Kuwait
Today, I found out that my husband named our daughter after his favorite porn star. FML
dinosaurboy
United States
Look!
Today, my mom and I went to the mall to look for some boxer briefs. While looking, I saw two girls I knew from school, so I went over to say hello. At least, that was my plan, but my mom screamed, "Look! These have dinosaurs on them!" They left the store giggling. FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML
Rae
United States
Today, I picked up my daughter from the day care but before we left, the babysitter needed to have a talk with me. To fill you in, I got a brand new prius yesterday. Apparently my daughter told eveyone that her mommy got a new penis. FML
Top comments
Niicky_fml 20
that's so cute! haha awww :)
Bowser6622 5
Coincidence?
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Comments (114)
Bowser6622 5
Coincidence?
xlord 27
wow I would be worried about what's going to happen in 15 years then
ryno101 3
triceratops + horny = pornstar daughter!
Iamnotmyself 17
Let me guess, you got her a dinosaur depicting explicit details to teach her about her no-no places?
worldcupcheer17 0
haha right now the ydi is 69 even though it'll go up I thought it was a coincidence :)
fmlwmty 0
Mwahahaha I'm finally in the top 5! suck it losers!
amylisa2790 3
Ke$ha? i blame her for your horny d-i-n-o-saur.
MakaPaka_fml 0
and I named my squirtle penis (Y)
Trololololololo_fml 7
Maybe she was reffering to the fact that the dinosaur has a big horn?
worldcupcheer17 0
77- I already know your comment will be moderated.
YacL 15
Barney's brother, or is it just me? It's probably just me.
Iamnotmyself 17
-93 I'm sorry to inform, but, yes it was just you.
2ndSucks 15
Bring your daughter to south carolina, where we show our support for college football by wearing shirts with COCKS written across the chest. Horny would be welcome here.
YacL 15
100- Does that make me unique or a loner?
Iamnotmyself 17
-103 depends, do you play WoW or not?
YacL 15
106- I'm just guessing here, but I'll say no.
dinodannyrawr 5
I bet she likes to play with her stuff animal alot.
Iamnotmyself 17
-108 Congrats your unique :D but probably sick minded, why you son of a....
Niicky_fml 20
that's so cute! haha awww :)
F2M2L 5
hopefully it had horns. lol.
myxcure 2
I agree, cute not FML.. Tell her future husband about it at her wedding :)
instnt1nfction 17
found a name for my new dog
iSitt 0
wasn't that the eighth drawf?
MizzErikaHart 8
suggest henry...?
RainbowzSkittlez 6
Or Bob?
Radek18 0
Why not Hugh G. Rection?
Babalu722 3
Ben Dover
BADDiam 4
Chuck Horris?
OrgasmicBunnies 9
Dixie Normous. Dixie Wrected?
JesseOhNine 0
Harry Zack O'Balls
marinus_fml 20
I love your kid already
coolp3rson 0
if only ur daughter were my mom...
NastyNinja31 0
op would b ur grandma?
ashleykay94 7
haha that's a sexy name :)
bluetiger105 0
So, your perverted mind turned a cute dinosaur name into something about sex? What's the problem?
LizzieLizz18 4
I agree.... No child knows what horny actually means.... Well, no child I know....
nahgemsoohc 0
yeah... I had a cat named pussy when I was young:S
Jonkbaby 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
let me get a crack at that stuffed animal..
yankeebaceball 1
in as many words, that's the innocence of childhood. the only problem with that name is in your head!
ColtsDoug18 0
dude, she's four years old. calm down.. it's not like it was intentional
onthetoilet 3
so what
LizzieLizz18 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
HAHAHAHAHAHA, that sucks. Just dont let your child bring the toy out in public.....