Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Maybe you should test his reaction time by punching him in the balls.
RainbowDashie140 12
I would work on those reactions.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (68)
Altazor 4
buy him a pack of gum;Teach him how to chew it.
Rahii_nami 10
oh shit man...i guess u were in so much pain ..... i hate when someone punch me in the stomach ... but for sure i would return it back to him.....
Axel5238 29
Sucks for the OP. Get him back, prank or doing the sane back. If he likes chocolate covered pepper or a pepper dropped in the carton of oj works. Remember to slice the pepper all the oil comes from the seeds.
pedinhuh 23
How can you expect to test someone's reaction time if you caught then off guard??? I'd say your dad just wanted to troll you :)
NurseJonathan 9
That is his father's point. He wanted to "test" the Original Poster's reaction time to a sneak attack.
Maycontainnuts 17
That must have come as quite a blow.
Astarea 22
This made me instantly think of Bleach, the way Isshin is with Ichigo when he walks in the front door.