Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 250 lb ex-Marine dad announced he was going to start randomly punching me in the crotch, without warning, to "improve my reflexes." FML
Today, my dad joked he’d have to fight my boyfriend to find out if he’s worthy. My boyfriend grew up abused by his dad and older brothers, and has a powerful instinct to fight back. My dad is now out cold on the floor and my boyfriend is in the corner rocking back and forth and crying. FML
Today, my little brother punched me in the stomach. When I didn't flinch and he asked me why, I thought it would be funny to tell him I was Iron Man and that nothing could hurt me. Two seconds later, he took a step back and kicked me in the nuts as hard as he could. FML
Today, my sister punched me in the face. My dad was actually annoyed with me when I told him. He said I'll never be a "real man" if I can't take a hit from a girl. FML
Today, my friend invited me to his boxing club for the first time. Since I'm somewhat short and scrawny-looking, he was worried that the workout would be too difficult for me. I waved him off and told him that I was tougher than I looked. Five minutes into class, I sprained my ankle. FML
Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML
Today, my stepdad punched me in the face after I told him I hated him. He and my mom came in 10 minutes later to try to convince me that I'd made it up in my head that he'd punched me. My face was still red. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to scare my dad for once, since he has scared me for fun dozens of times. It would have been funny, had he not punched me in the face. FML
Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML
Today, my dad decided to take his medicine before eating. He passed out with his face in a plate of chocolate cake. He wasn't responsive so I called the paramedics. When he got to the hospital, the doctor asked him if he knew why he was there. He replied, "Because my stupid daughter overreacted." FML
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Top comments
BadKitty14 7
Maybe you should test his reaction time by punching him in the balls.
RainbowDashie140 12
I would work on those reactions.
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Comments (68)
KingCeltic77 18
In my experience with boxing, my coach started real slowly. I didnt even step in the ring for months. I started with shadow boxing. Baby steps, you'll get there.
wvcheesehead1 9
Tell him when the nurse asks you if she can pull the plug, you're reaction time will be much faster.
NurseJonathan 9
Who says I'm going to ask?
chanellgymnast 17
Punch him in the sack and see his reaction.
c4rpi0 20
Haha he didn't have to follow through with the punch to test your reaction time tough love?
NurseJonathan 9
"Good job! You've been practicing your reaction time to pain! Now I'll really think I've broken a rib and punctured your lung! ... Son?"
notforbirds 9
The number of comments on this post that involve nut-punching makes me extremely uncomfortable
onorexveritas 24
just looking out for ya
lsdecaria1 5
U ain't no rocky pussy
xYin 16
OMG I THINK YOUR DAD JUST POSTED A FML ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. I MODERATED IT AND SAID YES AND I HOPE IT GETS POSTED.
miss_amazing86 10
In a ring- you're expecting a punch..not when you're walking through a door -_- ouch.