Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was on an early flight home after a night of drinking. I was sat in my seat when I started feeling sweaty and nauseous. I grabbed the puke bag and started gagging, then puking, and a really loud fart came out. Everyone heard it. The attendant switched me seat to sit alone. FML
Today, while using the bathroom on an airplane, someone walked in on me wiping my butt. That person just so happened to be the stranger I was sitting next to. It was an 8 hour flight. FML
Today, I'm on a 14-hour flight, stuck next to a large man whose rancid body odor is eclipsed only by his constant flatulence, which he loudly blames on me every time. On my other side is his friend who laughs like a moose at everything. There are no empty seats and no-one will trade with me. FML
Today, a man came by with a large drink and sat next to me in the bus terminal. In all his wisdom, he tried setting it between the seats. Naturally, it spilled all over me. I now have to sit with a soaked pair of pants and a wet carry on from Nashville to Atlanta. The bus trip is 5 hours long. FML
Today, I was on a plane when I suddenly felt the need to use the toilet. I didn't make it in time and I had to spend the remainder of my trip in soiled clothes. FML
Today, I boarded my flight and sat next to a man. I told him I had hoped he was a hot woman and he concurred. He said at least I wasn't obese and I replied "At least you aren't smelly". Minutes later I realize he had the most disgusting foot odour ever... the barefoot kind. I suffered for 11 hours. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the bus and when I woke up, I found out that I missed my stop by ten stops and I was on the last bus of the night. And, to make matters worse, a drunk hobo was sitting next to me with a beer in one hand and was rubbing my leg with the other. FML
Today, the line for the bathroom on my flight was so long that the passenger next to me couldn't hold it any longer, so he just let it all loose in his pants. FML
Today, I was on a 12-hour transatlantic flight. I asked the flight attendant where the rancid smell was coming from. The guy sitting next to me started laughing, saying, "Sorry, something I ate is not agreeing with me." This was hour one of the flight. FML
Today, on the airplane, the kid behind me kicked my seat hundreds of times, while the big bald guy next to me farted deadly ones repeatedly. I was on a non-stop 14-hour flight. FML
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Top comments
saintice23 0
Just don't blame this one on Pink Floyd. They don't support peeing your pants.
Fyre46 0
All in all it's just another brick in the wall.
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Comments (47)
stupidLes 0
Couldnt u complain to flight attendant? Or sue the airline?
supremes1997 0
like your so right that should happen ing your do smart sorry this is the only way to correct my last comment drunk anti fluid is gay
tehhboss 6
Again with the suing bullshit.
saintice23 0
Just don't blame this one on Pink Floyd. They don't support peeing your pants.
TheEpicScrewup 0
Oh My God, nasty. Flights are awful enough as it is without drunk bastards taking a leak on your pants. FYL
huntergreen367 0
what saintice23 said. Pink Floyd, while weird, actually has pretty good music. The fact that he likes Pink Floyd has nothing to do with the fact that he peed on you. I don't even know how you arrive at that as a stereotype...
giffinator 0
lol #3
Jackthestripper 0
It's funny cause I'm listening to Pink Floyd now... I need to pee.
baldfatman 0
Dude, that was me :D! Pink Floyd is the most amazing band in this world, no doubt about it.
ritalinboy 1
This is why if given the choice, i will never fly in an airplane ever again. Flying used to be something that low-lifes couldn't afford, and for good reason. This is why God gave Man the car, its this little invention designed to take us wherever we want AND keep low-lifes out. Even if you have a crappy car, it still keeps them out. Cars are also actually fun to drive whilst on a plane you just sit there and in your case get peed on. This concludes my rant, now i have to go write a journal entry for freshman english :(
lednia 1
"God gave Man the car" Not sure if retarded...or just a religious person. Sorry, said the same thing twice.
ertw 0
are you telling me that you smelling around near this guys crotch? awkward!
thecirclingskies 0
#10, Well, he was a Pink Floyd fan, so his piss probably smelt of coral caves and glitter. I don't know why OP included his fanatical tendencies, but it definitely gave the guy a few more points of awesome. I would have forgiven him for pissing all over the place.
mnbbv 0
hahaha coral caves and glitter... no disrespect to Pink Floyd, who are awesome
maximumoverdrive 0
I saw "Pink Floyd" and immediatly started reading. They're ******* awesome