Today, I sneezed while brushing my teeth and ended up with toothpaste in my eye. I haven't been able to see clearly for two hours. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while brushing my teeth, I applied the toothpaste to my toothbrush when a few bristles got caught on the lip of the tube and flung a glob of toothpaste into my eye. My eye is now bloodshot, but at least it's minty fresh. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in a rush before work. I squeezed the toothpaste tube too hard, and some of it it shot directly into my eye. I spent the next ten minutes half-blind, crying peppermint tears, and still somehow managed to be late. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth half asleep, I stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush, toothpaste included. FML
Today, whilst brushing my teeth, I fell asleep, poking myself in the eye with my toothbrush. FML
Today, the dentist sneezed in my mouth. FML
Today, while brushing my teeth before a date, I sneezed so hard that toothpaste flew all over my clean shirt. I was already running late, so I panicked and tried to wipe it off with water. It left huge wet spots. I showed up looking like I had just lost a fight with a giant toothbrush. FML
Today, I sneezed while I was in the middle of getting a root canal. I managed to warn the dentist that I was going to sneeze, but he didn't manage to get the tools out of my mouth in time. FML
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML
Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML
Today, I sneezed after watching a commercial involving dust. FML
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Top comments
lwdjaymac 1
Use your other eye :)
donteatglue1 0
Then how are you writing this?
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Comments (87)
SeventhFonons 0
Omg so many idiots misreading the FML I don't even feel like correcting anyone today
usernamesarehard 4
I've voted YDI on this simply because you have prevented me from posting my (more awesome) story. Its actually from when I was about 12, and is pretty much exactly the same... just replace "toothpaste" with "electric toothbrush". Yes, it was on. And it had toothpaste on it; I pretty much got the entire head into my left eye and couldn't open it for hours. FML
usernamesarehard 4
#70 @xshinexbrite96xx ; Wow, how did God come into this? Asking him for help isn't the best idea; he'll just as likely kill your baby as cure your ailments ;)
HJB 0
When I was about 6 or 7 we were getting a family picture done, I looked in the mirror and wanted my eyes to be more white, so I took tooth paste and ended up looking high as balls for the picture :)
HelloPerson 0
if this is true how are you typing this fml?
Windyourneckin 0
O my god! Calm down you lot! It's funny! Just leave it at that!
Sarah_32 0
are you people ******* retarded? she said my eye. not my eyes. SINGULAR. and getting toothpaste in one eye doesnt just blind your other?! and yea. strong alkalis can dissolve your eye, so i would just watch out..
insinuendo 0
So instead of going to the hospital, you get on FML?
anonymous45610 0
how the hell does that even happen :p
MDNL 0
yeah..how DID you type this then?