Today, I was happy because my co-worker was almost about to get fired due to his lazy habits. It was all going so well. Then I accidentally put my biggest sale yet under his name. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML
Commission demon
Today, on my second day at my new job, my supervisor told me that I was ready to make a sale on my own. Things were going well, until said supervisor interrupted my sales pitch, apologized on my behalf for being new, and stole my sale. FML
Today, while trying to get my boss to reconsider laying off much of my department, I accidentally convinced him to lay me off too. FML
Today, I won employee of the month. I was then fired for being late. FML
Today, I told my supervisor how awful my coworker was at her job. I then got fired. FML
Overachiever
Today, due to being stressed and overwhelmed by my tasks, I made a mistake and completed a few of my colleagues' tasks as well. When I informed my boss about it, he said that I did an outstanding job, but I shouldn't have messed with other people's documents. As a result, my promised raise is cancelled. FML
Today, I accidentally emailed the entire company everyone's salary, sales history, and the names of four people I intended to fire. FML
Today, at work, I was about to close a big sale, when a coworker rushed over and said there was a call for me in the office. He heavily implied my mom had died, and I rushed out. After I figured out there was no call and that my mom was fine, he'd already stolen my sale and the commission. FML
Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML
Broadcast
Today, I had to call a coworker to the office via the store intercom. The damn thing didn't turn off properly and everyone heard me say, "I hate that asshole. Just be where your dumb ass should be." I realized my mistake a few seconds before my manager stormed in and threatened to fire me. FML
Top comments
Shjohn 3
Dude talk to your boss quick to make sure he doesnt get the credit
MrColbyCheese 10
Way to go!
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Comments (39)
corky1992 33
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Karma.
Tripartita 45
Karma is the belief that at the end of life, the good and bad actions of a being are measured and used to determine which incarnation its souls will take next. Although I have no allegiance to any particular religion, I find this western bastardization of Karma pretty funny. It would be like an FML mentioning the act of showering, and somebody writing "Baptism." as a comment. Also, the OP did nothing to deserve a lost sale. </rant>
BLDYRBBT 16
I try to tell people this all the time when they misuse it. They always try and correct me with "what goes around comes around" Well yeah dude in a way but it comes around in your reincarnation cycle. Bad guy equals returning as a worm not bad guy trips and hits his head on the curb.
no_playa_hater 14
Yes, OP deserves what happened to them, for being a hater. They wished bad things upon other people, but instead something bad happened to themselves.
Tripartita 45
Haters tend to, you know, hate. The OP was just happy somebody who slacked off was finally going to face well-deserved consequences. The slacker probably was the cause of undue extra work for the OP, who had to pick up their slack. If anything, the coworker's lack of action is more harmful than OP being a bit happy.
Bunnyluver 20
#8 You don't know what Op's co-worker did and he probably deserves to be fired. It isn't hating of it's something that needs to happen.
irishfan96 1
Yeah, well what goes around comes around. Ya know what I'm sayin?
theloanranger 3
This is not correct whatsoever
ceciestuncompte_fml 1
Actually, Tripartita, you're wrong, and #1 is correct. The word Karma in Sanskrit refers to an action or the consequences of an action, and it has many different religious uses depending of the religion. Karma in Buddhism, Hinduism and Jainism is different, and may differ between the multiple version of these religions. In particular, in Buddhism, it is believed that Karma can yield to retribution in this life (diṭṭadhammika). Also your conception that the actions are being measured seems to imply an omnipotent moral being, which is very much a westernization of the concept of Karma. Sorry for the rant, but being wrong is fine with me, being pedantic is also fine with me, but I can't take people being wrong and pedantic at the same time. Tl,dr : Eastern religions are much more complex and diverse than most western people seem to believe, and you should probably learn the core of these religions before finding the conceptions of others funny.
Tripartita 45
Thanks for the correction, Ceciestuncompte. My apologies, #1.
corky1992 33
Maybe if they spent less time focusing on the other person and actually paid attention to what they were doing then they wouldn't have made such a big mistake. This is why you don't wish bad things on people. it tends to bite you in the ass.
corky1992 33
No worries #27!
MrColbyCheese 10
Way to go!
Shjohn 3
Dude talk to your boss quick to make sure he doesnt get the credit
wil1029 9
I'm confused to how this happened.
igive 29
Typically if their names are next to each other in the drop-down list. Happens at my work too.
Colon_Man 17
Maybe it's a difference between; Brian Moose and Brian Morse - in a drop down menu?
DToast 19
I don't get how you "accidentally" put someone's else's name on your work, either this FML is fake, or you are just really bad at writing your name.
spacedcookie89 5
Well now he owes you.
dontknow1 19
Talk to your boss, tell him/her it was you who made the sale. If he/she doesn't believe you call your customer so he/she can identify you as the sales man.
Zest_fml 12
It takes skill to mess up that badly
BobbieH 19
He may be lazy but you're an idiot.
Shaky_Spear 11
Conglaturations. (fyl but double check next time!)
yerawizardlizzy 27
You should use your own advice and double check your spelling.
Colon_Man 17
Oh, God, that's marvarous!