Slice and dice

Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML

Today, I was cooking dinner for my children, managing for once not to screw up and hurt myself. Then, while chopping vegetables, I accidentally sliced my finger open. The same finger that was still covered in juice from a lemon I'd just squeezed. FML

Frozen 3

Today, as I was putting groceries away, I went to open my freezer door which randomly gets stuck by giving it a good tug, and a frozen hamburger fell on my right foot. My right foot, which is currently healing from a sprain I got a couple days ago. FML

Today, I opened the freezer for some Poptarts and a giant block of meat fell and broke my toe. FML

Put it away

Today, I managed to cut myself twice with a Swiss army knife. Stabbed in one hand and sliced a finger on the other. Good to know it's super sharp. FML

Today, I sprained my wrist while trying to grate a block of frozen cheese. FML

Getting a head start on the Halloween look

Today, while washing dishes for my friend, I managed to break an unbreakable glass and slice my hand open on it. FML

Large spread

Today, as I went to put a portion of a rotisserie chicken in the microwave, the rest of the chicken slid off the counter. I instinctively tried to catch it with my foot, which resulted in me punting it into the kitchen ceiling fan. FML

Not my day, is it?

Today, I was washing the dishes when I gave myself a nasty gash on my leg from the open dishwasher door. After five minutes of cleaning up the blood and wrapping it up, I came back to finish the job only to drop a plate and send broken shards into my foot. FML

Gammon

Today, while demonstrating our new meat slicer at work, and after sharpening the blade at the end of the demonstration, I noticed some metal powder. I grabbed a rag to wipe it off, not realizing the blade was still in the “open” position. I now have six stitches and a really painful finger. FML