Today, I showed the kids I was babysitting a picture of my daughter, and the little girl asked, "You have a baby in your belly?" I said, "No, she's not in my belly anymore," and the little girl replied, "But it's BIG," and patted my stomach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML
Today, I was babysitting a three-year-old. She asked me what was wrong with my belly. I had to explain to her that I'm just fat. Twice. FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl, and we were playing with dolls. After we fed her babies, we put them down for a nap. After a few minutes, I asked if they'd had enough sleep. She looked at me like I was a freak and said, "Uh, they're not real babies, you know…" FML
Today, I was babysitting a little girl down the street. She pulled out her 'memory box', which contained many childhood treasures. After pulling out a variety of dresses and baby pictures, she says, "... and here's my belly button!" and plops an umbilical chord in my hands. FML
Today, at school, one of my students confidently told me that I "wasn't hiding my baby bump very well anymore." I'm not pregnant. Just fat, apparently. FML
Today, while on the bus, a small child asked me if I was having a baby, and I replied "Yes." I'm not. I was just too ashamed to admit I was fat. FML
Today, my son was looking through old photos and showed me a picture of myself and asked who it was. When I told him it was me, he responded by saying "But mommy, the lady in the picture is not fat!" FML
Today, I was playing with my kid cousin outside. It was warm, so I was wearing my new bikini, and felt pretty good about myself. She suddenly turns to me and asks, "How come your tits are so small when you have such a big belly?" FML
Today, I was taking my 3 month-old nephew for a walk in his stroller, when a lady stopped me to coo over him. Then she patted my stomach and said, "Don't worry, you'll lose the baby weight soon." I've never had a baby. FML
Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML
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Top comments
logankyng 15
Time to follow through with that forgotten new year's resolution
freckleface221 19
Gotta love kids. They always speak their mind.
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Comments (73)
Wakachulak 22
From the mouth of babes
perdix 31
Let's be kind and assume that you haven't noticed that your belly is big because you can't see down past your huge ****.
TheLittleBear 19
"So is your mouth, honey"
skrillexx62 12
at least she was honest
alwayswinning123 7
Dw op everyone gains pounds after having a baby
andromeda335 9
It's okay OP, I've never had a baby and I've been asked if I'm pregnant routinely
priest_of_war 10
Kids say the darnedest things, sorry OP!
iGottaFindBubbah 12
Well, if you just gave birth recently, don't take it personal. I have a seven week old and even though I'm losing weight I still look about 3-4 months pregnant. Takes time :)
BrianaKoala 7
Aw don't worry, they're just kids. I'm sure you're not fat like a pregnant woman OP! :)
GoodLookingGeese 10
Time 4 a diet