Today, I learned a few things. One: friends are assholes. Two: under no circumstance do you close your eyes when they ask you to. Three: getting kicked in the balls hurts a lot. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at work, I was talking to a colleague about what the worst pain he ever experienced was. He said his was being bitten by a dog, and I said I didn't know. Next thing, I was kicked in the balls from a behind by another work colleague. She said, "What about that?" I agreed, it was. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the balls. FML
Today, on the way to work, I was punched in the balls by a complete stranger. FML
Today, I had to listen to my best friend explain how to properly unstick one's balls from one's leg. I'm a girl. FML
Today, I thought it would be fun and nice to pick my little brother up, but no, he accidentally kicked me in the balls. Twice. FML
Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML
Today, walking home from work, I saw a little boy crying, so I crouched down to his eye level. I asked him what was wrong, his reply was to kick me in the groin. FML
Today, I went to my friend's house to celebrate her birthday but 3 of them ganged up on me and molested my arse cheeks. Later, someone found a wooden plank and spanked me hard. There was also a BB gun and my arse was the target. I have been a social outcast all my life, and these are my only friends, but I'm always hit. FML
Today, I learned that you can pierce your balls. However, sitting on a thumbtack is not the best way to find this out. FML
Today, my friend whacked me in the family jewels while I was washing my hands in our college bathroom. While I lay writhing in pain on the floor, a guy at the urinal turned around towards me to see what was wrong. He was still peeing. FML
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Top comments
Wizardo 34
1. You're gullible as hell 2. Never trust any of your guy friends - guys are assholes 3. Ice them balls brother.
olpally 33
After you're done being in pain, kick them in the balls. Bastards.
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Comments (87)
ViRepz 28
At least the third problem will eventually go away
PuggieKid 22
Well, you learn something new everyday! Fbs OP (:
TheCanucklehead 22
What are your balls made of? Reinforced steel? Eventually is a long time when your hit there
Ian7890 23
Man #1 you're just full of bad comments today aren't you?
SwaggCapone 11
this fml is kind of hard to vote. On one instance its a FYL OP for getting kicked in the balls. On another note its a YDI for closing your eyes when your friends told you to
skittycat213 19
#1 not if they were wearing ice climbing boots
Wizardo 34
1. You're gullible as hell 2. Never trust any of your guy friends - guys are assholes 3. Ice them balls brother.
Batterypost 23
Girls tend to be assholes just as much as guys, if not more so.
ViRepz 28
Everyone knows girls don't poop.
CaiDog 20
^I fail to see the relevence in this comment.
slappygecko 21
What you don't know about women.
iAlissa 34
#26, your ignorance levels are astonishing.
Mossears133 15
Let's just meet in the middle: people are assholes.
Left4UrMum 6
#29 It's fun to see the struggle. STRUGGLEWATCH
angeluv_2014 22
I've been called an asshole waaay more times then I've been called a ****. And most of those came from my friends... very fitting to this FML.
olpally 33
After you're done being in pain, kick them in the balls. Bastards.
Ashamed_Sister 60
Number one should read: MY friends are assholes, because most friends wouldn't do this.
NickKuiper 8
^ I'm pretty sure assholery is common among friends. Maybe it's YOUR friends that are breaking the norm.
Ashamed_Sister 60
It could be common among males. At least my female friends wouldn't do anything like this, but maybe #53 is right and males are assholes.
zenim 5
That's a low blow, even for friends, ESPECIALLY for guy friends. See someone get kicked down there hurts, though not as much as getting kicked down there.
Ashamed_Sister 60
My comment got buried because I have certain standards when it comes to friends. How sad... If #53 is correct I'm happy that MY friends are breaking the norm.
PterodactylMan 23
When you're feeling better you should kick them in the balls
TourettesGuyFTW 26
With your eyes closed.
Olympiakos10 15
I don't always close my eyes, but when I do, it hurts, A LOT.
Welshite 40
Blinking must be excruciating for you.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
-.-
fylx100 19
How do you sleep at night? You poor, poor thing. :-/
cadillacgal79 32
@80, obviously he sleeps with his eyes open.
MistySky 17
Soo wait, you didn't already know that getting kicked in the balls hurt already? I thought that was like guy 101 or something.. o.o
Welshite 40
It's actually very pleasant.
hcollins1 18
How was he supposed to know he was going to get kicked in the balls? He's probably that one friend that is gullible.
MistySky 17
Lol no I meant something different. He said he 'learned' 3 things today, but he didn't actually just learn that getting kicked in the balls hurts (probably)
bikramkohli 11
Your friends are nuts!
xx000o 27
Assholes are not friends.
alwayswinning123 7
There go your kids...
Juneyah1017 9
Boys will be boys
Mossears133 15
Where does it say that OP's friends are boys? Girls can be ball-kicking assholes too.
angeluv_2014 22
lol We must be equal! Even if it means we are ball kicking assholes too! We claim it all babay!!
Sandsh8rk 36
I'm sorry, but I thought all of this was common knowledge?