Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Don't have kids. You will probably leave the baby on the bus. ;)
Dracoboxer357 36
And what did you learn? ;) It's good you didn't actually lose your dog though.
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Comments (112)
annie_nk 23
Anyone else notice the strange pronoun change?
igive 29
They forgot how they started the story.
Clamcreepy 7
It explains how they forgot where their dog was
heythere131630 9
I'm not sure if this would be a relief or an embarrassment.
MerrikBarbarian 9
F the groomers life for having to wait around on you. I hope you tipped your groomer well!
tmmundy 17
15...the groomers usually takes all day. They ask that you drop your pet off early and pick up late in the day, so I'm sure there was no harm done to the groomers. If so, the groomers would have called op.
timetogrowup 0
Not every groomer. My shop has an average turnaround of two hours on a regular day and less than four hours when we are outrageously busy. :)
CastielJ 6
Lol be funny if you then forgot why you were searching around in your neighborhood.
krewer21 1
DFI, aka dumb freaking idiots! I pray you have not had kids...
WaSiSimiLang 8
Oh where, oh where has my little dog gone? Oh where oh where could he be? With his ears cut short and his tail cut long, Oh where oh... ****! The groomers!
lottievaughn 5
That's strange. You completely forgot the drive there and back, and the process of taking your dog into the groomers? I feel like this is an extreme version of the 'where the hell are my glasses??!!?' situation, as you slowly and stupidly pay the top of your head... In which situation I usually end up laughing at myself. I hope you got a good laugh outta this too, OP! That is, after you had a second to catch your breath and shake off the embarrassment. ;)
LadyGore 12
How do you forget something like that...
serena_10 11
who is "we"?
Dracoboxer357 36
^ $10 bucks says Op and Op's life partner, as he/she was driving around "our neighbourhood", that may make the most sense.
eccentrix 12
Us.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Strange, I thought "we" meant OP and OP's posse of clowns in their hunt for their dog who's also part of their circus act. Or Baustigt, noor and KaySL doing sexy stuff behind our back.
flockz 20
*turns around* DAMMIT!! that's ******* nasty. and what the **** are they doing with the chunk of salami?
tmmundy 17
I thought it meant the little green men...lol. you know the ones op mentioned in the post (wink)...everyone was out helping. lmao
petraphotoDOTca 6
family? partner? why do you care. you sound like a paranoid gf "where have you been!?!??!? - you're 10 minutes late and I called work to see you left on time!!!" lmao
dd08tsx 3
because i got high, cuz i got high, cuz i got high, lol
THE_A_TEEN 28
^Obviously what happens when you smoke weed and go on FML at the same time.
gracehi 33
La da da da da da I was gonna get my dog from the groomer's, but then I got high. I was gonna get my dog from the groomer's but then I got high. I forgot my dog at the groomer's and I know why. Hey hey heeeeey. Because I got high, because I guy high, because I got hiiiiigh. La da da da da.