Today, I searched our neighborhood for our lost dog. After screaming at the top of our lungs, driving around in circles, and asking strangers, we realized we took him to the groomers this morning. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was driving home with my girlfriend. As we turned onto our block, she shrieked that our dog was running down the street and into traffic. I jumped out of the moving car and chased him for about a mile, only to give up, go home, and find out it wasn't our dog. FML
Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML
Today, my boyfriend finally let me take his dog on a walk, after two years of not trusting me to keep her safe. During the walk, a car drove by, causing her to run after it and pulling the leash out of my hand. Five hours later, and I still can't find her. FML
Today, my dog ran away. I looked for him for 5 hours, and when I came back home, he was waiting for me at the door. FML
Today, after finally giving up on the search for my lost dog, I realized that my neighbors had found her and are convinced that she was a stray. They won't give her up and are now mad at me for trying to take my own dog back. FML
Today, I got home only to discover my dog was missing. After spending ages roaming the freezing streets calling his name, I returned to find him stuck behind the couch with my chewed-up new shoes in his muzzle. FML
Today, I went searching for my cat who'd escaped. Of course, I searched the entire building and somehow she'd got back in through my front door of my apartment. FML
Today, my dog ran away. Luckily my neighbors caught him before he got too far. Now they won't give him back because they think I did something to him to make him want to run away. FML
Today, when I went to pick my kid up from daycare, I found out that he had run away. The rest of my afternoon consisted of me screaming his name, looking for him. I then returned to the daycare center. He thought it would be funny if he hid in the trash. FML
Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML
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Top comments
zandalee 20
Don't have kids. You will probably leave the baby on the bus. ;)
Dracoboxer357 36
And what did you learn? ;) It's good you didn't actually lose your dog though.
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Comments (112)
Kiki242 19
That's about as bad as looking for your phone when it's in your hand.
om102907 4
Dn mass hallucinations gwt me every time!!!
icemand90 17
alzhiemers(no idea how to spell that). get checked. both of you :)
bjf10 22
I was thinking maybe they left their brains at the groomer too. ;-)
the420estguy 0
You are clearly a dumbshit change your name to **** Tard because you are an idiot
THE_A_TEEN 28
Holy hell, that's no reason to be rude, you insensitive dick.
perdix 31
You poor people! What stress and anxiety! You ought to go to the local self-styled "psychiatrist" to get a prescription for even more medical marijuana. Make sure you get enough to share some with your dog. Everybody must get stoned.
nevershoutkendal_fml 11
Well, there's a good story to tell. I guess it's only funny in hindsight.
stewpididiot 11
Only users lose dogs...
Daederoth 10
There is something wrong with your mind. Get checked out. It happens don't be mad.
DiaMariexo 0
Oh gosh. That sucks! At least you realized you left him at the groomers after all that! :)
greenie213 23
I'm surprised you didn't look around, realize you weren't home, and assume you were abducted by aliens. Seriously, you need help.