Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
I've heard of apples and granola bars, but toothbrushes are the next level!
gurbism 16
No one egged your house?
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Comments (88)
K3YD0N 13
Im comming back soon, just gotta buy eggs and toilet paper
NikkiSamm 21
Not that bad... I once went to a house that gave out pocket bibles and the owner have a speech about how Halloween was the Devils holiday and I was a sinner for going trick or treating lmao
Ichiya 29
Throw the bible back and summon demons to eat his eternal soul.
emadrid 0
I would be super excited if I got a toothbrush even as a child. Sounds like your mother is brilliant, Work with so many children having food allergies
ThaBoss12 12
My brother has food allergies. That's why she doesn't give out candy, so he won't be tempted to eat some. Still sucks to be known as the lamest house in the neighborhood..
thefmlman2011 37
I got hubba Bubba from a sweet old lady one year.
BoWDoWN123 3
Wow
interesting33 37
I really hate the trick part of Halloween though - you should not be punished for not giving free sweets to people. It is blackmail and can be really upsetting.
LostInTheZone11 29
The only time a toothbrush is ok to get, if if you also got those Mary Jane Peanut Butter Kisses. (Those Orange and Black wrapped candies.) Because, then you are gonna need the brush to get those crap candies out of your mouth.
mosquito19 14
doed the handle made of candy?
demonfacee 14
Sounds like your mom cares about dental hygiene.
lulinator 40
I loved getting toothbrushes when I went Trick or Treating as a kid. I saw a few in some buckets this year as I was handing out candy, and was kind of jealous that my kids didn't find that house to get one. They also love getting new toothbrushes.