Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom went to the store. She said she was feeling generous, and had gotten everyone a little treat. My brothers each got candy and a movie. I got acne medication. FML
Today, I bought fifteen bags of candy for the trick-or-treaters. I sat outside with a bowl of candy the whole night. Only one person came. FML
Today, I had to tell all the trick-or-treaters that I'd run out of candy. I'd actually bought about $50 worth of candy, but managed to eat all of it by myself, sitting alone in my apartment, exactly like last year. FML
Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML
Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML
Today, I asked my girlfriend to get a bunch of candy for our first Halloween at our new house, so she got $60 worth. We got into an argument about who was going to give it out. It’s now 9 p.m. No one came to our door all night. FML
Today, one of my neighbors dressed up in the exact same costume as me. Every house I go to refuses to give me candy because my neighbor has already been there. FML
Today, I found out my whole family has been mistakenly using the same toothbrush for over a month. FML
Today, I stayed over at my grandparents' house. I woke up and had to brush my teeth. My grandma asked if I had found a toothbrush to use. I told her that I used my old purple toothbrush. She told me that was the toothbrush she used to brush her toenails. FML
Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML
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Top comments
UnidentifiedFun 37
I've heard of apples and granola bars, but toothbrushes are the next level!
gurbism 16
No one egged your house?
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Comments (88)
chuka81 27
Important to have one of those after eating so much candy, right? Your mom, saving american children's teeth since God knows when.
JuzReading 23
Well if they were decent toothbrushes it's not so bad. I mean it saves their parents from going out and buying it.
sturschaedel 27
I get not wanting to give out candy. Or money that is most likely spent on candy. But what about small toys? At least those are fun!
cyanidesandwich 21
And a choking hazard, evidently
sturschaedel 27
Kids who are small enough to put toys in their mouths shouldn't be eating bags full of candy either. I know packaging warns about choking hazards up until three years old, but most kids I know (including my own) have completely stopped putting toys in their mouths at 18 months old.
rieebee 23
I know a coupon crazy lady who did that because she figured she didn't need all of her 500+ toothbrushes.
sarah_baby22 15
Wow I hope your mum was only mucking around and doesn't usually do these types of things. Your mum sounds hilarious!
ostfaiz 18
Do you have spares..well at least she is the boss!
meatpopsicle69 7
more like an fml to the kids!
worldclassrager 41
I have gotten trail mix before...but hey heathy is good
orbit 22
I don't want good, I want to be in a chocolate coma
cadillacgal79 32
That and a sugar rush, there was this one house in my town that gave out GIANT pixie sticks.
DocDrose 20
I work in a dental clinic. my boss gave 20 tubes of toothpaste to one of our kid patients to give to his friends as "tricks". I can relate.
TheNotoriousHGC 15
As "tricks"- Ha! That's awesome!
CaptainRR 20
No one egged your house?