Today, I saw my neighbor's Christmas tree they had put up on their porch, with decorative presents under it. Being that my neighbors hate me, I figured I would take a present to piss them off. While walking back home with the present, I opened it. Inside it read "I knew you would, douche bag." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, someone put dog turds underneath all the decorative reindeers' butts in my front yard. The chief suspect is my curmudgeonly, holidays-hating fuckball of a neighbor. Last week he repositioned them in very suggestive poses. FML
Today, my family and I went Christmas tree shopping. My husband and I were walking around when I saw the perfect tree. Excited, we immediately bought it. When we got home and set it up, I realized it came with a present: termites. FML
Today, I thought my mom and I could put aside our differences and open our Christmas presents. When she opened mine, she turned to my dad and said she didn't want the present, so I could give it to someone else. 'Tis the season. FML
Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML
Today, while I was home sick from work, my neighbor got packages delivered. Our apartments have had a lot of thefts lately so, being neighborly, I brought her stuff inside to wait. When she came home, I gave them right to her. Instead of thanking me, she told the office that I was the thief all along. FML
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML
Today, my extended family came over for Christmas. I forgot to get a present for my extremely sensitive aunt. I took a gift from my re-gift pile and wrapped it quickly. Little did I remember that it was the same gift she gave me last year. She noticed. FML
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, my dad and brother found a Christmas present that they'd "forgotten" to give me. Expecting a joke, I apprehensively opened it. But I still wasn't prepared to unwrap the neck of the Christmas turkey. It had been rotting in the living room for 2 days. The smell was indescribable. FML
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Top comments
DFlit1 0
Owned!
borkchop1992 15
i bet your neighbors dont like you because you typically do douchy things like this
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Comments (199)
Johnothan23 7
Ugh, terrible spelling.
DFlit1 0
Owned!
p3mguin 7
Your pro pic goes perfect with this statement LOL. but op stop..... BEING A DOUCHE
Bofferding_fml 6
Nice pic #3, do I see correct, it is a G36C? Sweet weapon, would be my first choice
HeXr 22
Pffft CM901 all the way
DFlit1 0
Yes it's a G36c dual mags, foregrip and a red dot sight... I now have a holographic for it lol :)
p3mguin 7
Shut the **** up faggots. Call of duty nerd wankers.
borkchop1992 15
i bet your neighbors dont like you because you typically do douchy things like this
lil_miss_katii 7
Maybe OP should stop being a douche and then his neighbors will like him? Just a thought..
Michael_92 20
What's not to like? I'm sure this guy is rolling in the ladies..oh wait no cause you can't even respect something as small as your neighbors having a tree. There's something wrong withyou dude.
BIEBERSLAYER 10
101- he's gone too far with it now. There's no going back from being a douche. Ever.
lil_miss_katii 7
148- that is a very good point! I forgot about that
beccalyn244 4
well you had it coming :)
monkeysareyummy 0
have you ever heard about wearing a shirt? My god your boobs are pretty much hangin out. (don't worry I'm not gay. But seriously, not everyone wants to see that)
RedPillSucks 33
translation.... Your boobs are pretty. Much hanging out. I'm not. Gay, but want to see that.
perdix 31
#81 Speak for yourself! I want to see that, and I think lots of others want to as well! Look around at more profiles and you'll fins that beccalyn's shot is relatively modest. You should write her a PM apologizing for being so clumsy when you were just trying to get her attention. That could put in motion an interesting series of events if you handle it right.
BigBacker 0
Monkey you're probably gay...
rexgar2000 10
don't worry 5 your boobs are just fine. keep it coming lol nah I'm jk no shirt needed.
alexm501 0
BOOBS!
Mauskau 36
Put your boobs away please...
WCARlover 35
Wow so you're not just a bratty kid, you're a thief too...nice
WCARlover 35
And anyone who doesn't vote "you deserved it" is clearly delusional
denbeste 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Uhm. No. He deserved some new Legos or something, not an insult.
WCARlover 35
Wtf are you smoking 50?
laden_swallow09 35
He's not smoking anything; he's just a douche, too.
ladyLALAA 29
What's 50?
kwanza23 3
Sharing is caring!
urlifesuxs1 9
169-*face palm*
Tsunami87 17
Merry Christmas!!
AlexanderSilver 0
Merry Christmas in Louisiana!!
tiggerbaxon 2
Is it any wonder your neighbours hate you! Well played neighbours, well played
Dracoboxer357 36
Agreed, they obviously know he's a big douche bag, something he pretty much freely admitted. :p
jpoole 4
Ha you've been outplayed, burn their tree down.
IBelongToJeebus 0
Read 'burn' as 'bum' -_-
bemylove123 9
Well played. Gotta give them props.
ninjuh_wingman 29
Your neighbors just Christmas trolled you.
conqueror57 11
Is a "Christmas troll" an elf??
KindaFunnyRight 8
Elfololololol
The_Troller 14
HoHoHoHo + Trollololol = Holololol