Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Ewww, gross
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Got milk?
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Mommy milkers
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Rotten
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML
Top comments
Mudhound123 6
Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.
RichardPencil 32
You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.
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Comments (19)
Suckmybigrooster 1
To answer the question only time I do is to the milk in the work fridge
Demon_of_Light 27
If you saw this and didn't dump the milk down the drain, you're equally responsible.
Indigo Surri 1
Think of it this way: Better to have seen him do it than not.
Achicken123 22
Does this work?
cumminsncope 4
You know it's going to happen again, so swap the milk with bleach.
dabomsht123 3
How old is the boy? He might don't know no better!!