Anonymous
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
K?ln, Germany
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Anonymous
Kerman, United States
Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
squeltorey
Whittier, United States
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
spekledworf
This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff
Wrentham, United States
Ewww, gross
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Bro
United States
Got milk?
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Anonymous
Malaysia
Mommy milkers
Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year-old son came up to me and asked if he could "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereal. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML
Anonymous
Today, my 5-year-old figured out that if he has a mouthful of milk and he blows really hard, he can blow the milk out of his nose like twin fire hoses. I’ve washed the carpet twice in the past day, and my house still stinks of rotten dairy. FML
anon
Naaldwijk, Netherlands
Rotten
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
dani0810
Sudbury, Canada
Today, I caught my 4 year old son yet again trying to drink out of the toilet. FML
Anonymous
Raleigh, United States
Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML
Top comments
Mudhound123 6
Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.
RichardPencil 32
You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.
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Comments (19)
amberthebear 7
nothing like a little backwash.. thats disgusting. lol
CrazyFastRapper 7
How little are we talking?
kristinjeaneen 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Well to be fair, milk IS disgusting.
Mudhound123 6
Well to be fair, that IS your opinion.
Suckmybigrooster 1
Better then him putting his dick into it
LyricaSilvan 30
The oddness of that statement almost makes me wonder if you've had such an experience. Witnessing it, I mean. I would certainly hope it wasn't you who did it.
cootiequeen4444 11
their username just makes me think they have thing for dicks. More in a "Superbad" (movie) type of way than sexual most likely. I don't find the comment so random coming from such a username.
jcash52426 5
Well that milk is either expired or a different kind of milk that he is used to drinking. If it wasn't expired I would make him drink the milk or do chores around the house to pay for a replacement and he can have the one he drank out of.
RichardPencil 32
You gotta wonder how often he's done that before you caught him in the act.
worldclassrager 41
Reminds me of the milk scene in little man...a bit
cootiequeen4444 11
I hope you took that milk carton (a) dumped it all over your little brother so he gets to smell like baby puke once it sours or (b) be more mature and just take the carton and toss it out so there are no ... victims.. of forced entry of foreign spit germs and/or bacteria otherwise know as a form of second degree grossness. learned this in jaw school.
alvarny 17
he's turning it into cheese for you.
flakawaka 0
Did you slap the **** out of him or...