Today, someone sent a dick pic to my 16-year-old, lesbian daughter. She handed me her phone and asked, "What is that, a naked mole rat?" FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, while I was babysitting, the little girl wanted to show me a picture that her mom had just sent to the family iPad via iMessage. Trying to be helpful, I clicked iMessage, only to see pictures of her father's erect penis. She won't stop asking about the "hotdog" in the picture. FML
Today, I asked my fiancé's daughter to use her phone so I could call mine which I'd misplaced. Busy with homework, she nodded. Only after she jumped up did I notice that she had my number listed with a humiliating nickname, and accompanied by a photo of her middle finger. FML
Today, I received a text from a man my wife had an affair with, in which he stated that my 18 year-old daughter is biologically his. He then sent me pictures of her that my wife had sent to him. FML
Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML
Today, I took my daughter to a pony ride at the fair. I paid to have her picture taken, and when we got home, I emailed it to my mom. She replied, disgustedly pointing out that the pretty little pony was displaying a pretty little penis. FML
Today, I walked in on my 15-year-old daughter stripping on Skype for strangers. FML
Today, I got a text from a woman containing many naked pictures of her. Apparently she meant to send those to her boyfriend whose number is one digit from mine. The bad part? My girlfriend was using my phone when I received that message. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. We got on the discussion of animals, and I showed them a picture of my cat on my phone. Being a touchscreen, when her father grabbed it, it changed picture. To a picture of my girlfriend, fully nude. FML
Today, my 12 year-old daughter asked me where her scrotum is. FML
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Top comments
OneGuySixDemons 23
"No honey, that's a penis." "… A what?" "Never mind, not important."
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Now we know why she is a lesbian.</p>
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Comments (34)
aggoden_bed 9
<p>Now we know why she is a lesbian.</p>
notsoanonymous3 20
Yes, because that's how it works. She doesn't know what a penis is, so she obviously just became a lesbian because if it....
draftskink 23
Triggered
MissPanda85 5
It's called a joke. Relax!
LyricaSilvan 30
It's a joke. Calm yourself.
LyricaSilvan 30
It's called a joke. Calm yourself.
Dorkycrime 0
hahaha I say it's a great comeback. better to not know or take offense than to do so.
OneGuySixDemons 23
"No honey, that's a penis." "… A what?" "Never mind, not important."
RichardPencil 32
That dude needs to improve his photography, or admit that he doesn't have the equipment for dick-pics.
worldclassrager 41
Yes it is it's name is dick
kenyrabit 25
Nice. Richard, the naked mole rat.
tin_cup 27
Kim Possible, is that you?
OSUBuckeyeChick 10
Nope... just Ruffus.
OSUBuckeyeChick 10
Nope... just Rufus.
ripleythebard 12
Did she not have sex education...?
cantfixme36 28
She likely did, but in sex Ed, you don't see real pictures of penises, just drawings, usually line art, usually anatomical (featuring blood vessels and whatnot)
ripleythebard 12
Well, to be fair...where I graduated sex ed consisted of "here are YOUR parts" during eighth grade and "Don't ever have sex and you'll be fine" during eleventh grade so.... That said, though, you'd think the parents would have made sure their children were aware of the ins and outs of the subject at LEAST by that age.
jessicalaurenxo 0
On the bright side, at least you don't have to worry about grandkids anytime soon
Bekll 31
What is that? That freaky thing?
baileybutler 16
I surely hope she sent that as her response.