Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at Costco, with my six year-old and my baby. I turned my back on them to grab something off a shelf and heard the baby scream. I turned around and saw my son dumping a gallon jug of mayonnaise all over my baby in his stroller. FML
Today, I was at a grocery store when I slipped on a puddle of water. I tried to catch my balance, grabbed a shelf, and instead took down an entire display of chocolate boxes. People rushed over to help, albeit while smirking, and a kid yelled, “Do it again!” FML
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML
Today, I was at the grocery store with my five year-old son when I had to go to the bathroom. After doing my business and we started walking out of the bathroom, my son loudly announced to the whole store, "Mommy has diarrhea!" FML
Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML
Today, I tried to discreetly smell a carton of milk to see if it had gone bad. I squeezed it a little too hard and it sprayed directly into my face. My roommate walked into the kitchen at that exact moment, then silently walked back out. FML
Today, my mom yelled at me in the store so loudly and for so long, a crowd began to form. The reason? I didn’t know how much milk we had left at home. I don’t drink milk. FML
Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year-old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit, and she screamed, "Don't touch me there!" Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML
Today, while eating with my kids at McDonalds, my son put his hand up and wanted me to give him a "high five." I went to give him a five, but he moved his hand at the last second and I ended up slapping him in the face. Now everyone there thinks I'm a child-beater. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
FindingYujin 26
Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.
Crystal55621 19
What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (65)
FindingYujin 26
Do you have a cat? Haha. I can only imagine your son learning it from that.
moonsalt 20
As embarrassing as it is, at least he isn't crying and drawing more attention to the scene.
Vogue2 8
Yes, there is no use crying over spilled milk.
jarrettd 27
However There is a use of licking it up
Crystal55621 19
What an interesting way to clean up. At least he's getting his calcium....though that is very unsanitary.
hallix 21
Training his immune system while strengthening his bones?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
All the while showing real humility in drinking off the floor. Good kid.
LowExpectations 30
I can only imagine the child puking his guts out later that day. I've seen people just spit on the floor in grocery stores.
babyshanice 12
I wonder where he learned that?
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Sounds like a Wikipedia one to me.
pinguino3669_fml 23
More like an answers.yahoo.com one
FailBear920 19
Spill some milk! Like a cat. Lick it off the floor! Like a cat.
babyshanice 12
He was embracing his inner cat.
PterodactylMan 23
Meow
annie_nk 23
My 1 1/2 year old does the same thing where she'll try licking liquid off the floor. We have a dog so that's probably where she got it from. So maybe it's the same thing with you? Also, ignore those accusing stares. They don't know the story and who are they to judge?
Flowtastic 16
I'm pretty sure a 5 year old is old enough to understand not to lick/eat food off of the floor Your 1 1/2 year old is at least at the age where she may not remember its not good to do.
Cazz91 21
Not necessarily. Young children can be easily influenced. They could have seen their pet do it and assume it was ok to do it or they imagined themselves being the said pet. Some kids have a fantastic and at times a over active imagination.
CaiDog 20
Waste not, want not.
tragicnightmare 15
hey, its ok - kids do stupid stuff. you two will probably end up getting a laugh out of it once your son grows older :) though it does sound pretty funny
Darren22 12
well at least he tried to clean up his mess
hallix 21
Yeah, I mean I'm over three times his age and I still don't clean up after myself.
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
Kids will be kids. It's definitely not the last time he will embarrass you either.