Today, at the end of a 15 hour shift, my girlfriend and her friends played a "prank" on me by texting me from a random number saying my cat got hit by a car. I immediately burst into tears and lost it in front of my colleagues. My cat is fine. My relationship is the real joke. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my girlfriend called me four times in a row at work. Worried, I stepped outside and answered the phone. Through tears, she screamed, "It's the cat!" Was he sick or hurt? "NO! He won't stop meowing!" FML
Today, my girlfriend furiously bitched me out because I got more upset about my phone screen cracking than when she told me about the death of her cat. We hadn't even met when her cat died. Did she expect me to burst into tears from hearing the story? Guess who's single again… FML
Today, I got home from work to find my boyfriend sobbing hysterically over the death of his cat. The only cat he could be talking about is the one on his Sims account. FML
Today, despite me not liking cats, which my wife knew, she got a cat anyway. Her cat went for a walk outside and was hit by a car. I rushed outside to help the cat but found she was already dead, and the culprit had driven away. When my wife found out that her cat was dead, she thought I'd killed her. FML
Today, my overly-attached 14-year-old cat wanted attention while I was in a heated Skype argument with my girlfriend. Worked up from the fight, I raised my voice and said, "Not now, go away!" He ran to his little bed, had a heart attack and died. I was a complete dick to my cat in his last moments. FML
Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML
Today, I found out that my favorite female coworker was in a car accident. When I told my girlfriend, her only reaction was to roll her eyes and sarcastically say, "Oh no." She then immediately, and very enthusiastically, asked if the accident killed her. FML
Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML
Today, my girlfriend decided it would be a funny idea to spray me with a hose while I was holding a kitten, showing her how cute we were. Needless to say, now I'm covered head to toe in cat scratches. FML
Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML
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Top comments
boopingsnoot 25
Hey, at least your cat is ok, and you know your girlfriend is a sociopath. Dump her carefully…
Michelle Bywaters 3
There is nothing funny about that. A joke is only funny if ALL parties find it funny!! Dump her and her stupid friends will go as well. Win win situation
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Comments (43)
boopingsnoot 25
Hey, at least your cat is ok, and you know your girlfriend is a sociopath. Dump her carefully…
Aiden Stubblefield 9
psychopath, examples of sociopaths include me and sherlock holmes and basicaly means you have horrible socal skills.
Aiden Stubblefield 9
i guess it could count as sociopathism but no need to carefully break up than, so maybey a mix of both.
Turkeysteaks 4
no, sociopath means someone who doesn't care about other people, whearas psychopath means someone who doesn't have Any sense of consequence of their actions.
boopingsnoot 25
No, a sociopath has no sense of empathy. They actually tend to have very good or very poor social skills - many politicians and CEOs are high-functioning sociopaths. Sherlock from "Sherlock" is not a good example of anything in real life.
Michelle Bywaters 3
There is nothing funny about that. A joke is only funny if ALL parties find it funny!! Dump her and her stupid friends will go as well. Win win situation
Arcady_fml 11
Most people consider their animals family members, myself included. This "joke" would be akin to your girlfriend texting you from a random phone number saying that your mother or father or a close family member had died in a car accident. If your girlfriend does not care to know enough about you that this prank would seriously upset you (especially since it did affect your standing with your coworkers), you need to evaluate your relationship. Only you know the details behind this prank, so maybe there is something in the relationship worth saving, but if I were in your shoes I would walk away.
Joshua Isaiah 11
perfectly said. I have always had animals in my house and I care for them as I would my family. I adopt them to give them a better life and to love them, so I believe this joke went too far. address the issue and if she can't understand your point then it may be time to move on. either way best of luck and feel better ❤
dubby21 19
I'm sorry but imo she's a bitch. >.> You don't mess with a precious pet :(
Dave_Davington 34
While it's incredibly cliche around here, I most definitely would dump her were I in your position. That crosses the line.
RichardPencil 32
So, you’re going to sacrifice ____ for the sake of your _____? Hint: it’s the same word.
Davidfartman 6
What is the word?
Turkeysteaks 4
I think the word he was looking for began with p to be honest
RichardPencil 32
Johannesburg
Lobby_Bee 18
Really? You didnt even question the legitimacy after getting it from a random number? You are a scam artist's wet dream.
SevieCookie 14
When it comes to a cat being run over, some people will contact the owners themselves to let them know they've found the cat afterwards or hit it themselves. Pretty much most of the time that will come from a random number. When my cat went missing I put my phone number on posters, which I put around and posted through doors. I ended up receiving calls and texts from random numbers with sightings of my cat, etc. I believed them. If the cat had an ID the number could be on there or on a microchip. It isn't terrible that the guy believed a text that his cat had been hit by a car. If it were me i would probably start crying too trying to contact the person to find out details. Knowing what its like to have your cat missing for 3 days, to then be found and told he has been hit by a car and needs his leg amputated, helps me know what kind of thing this guy went through before he was told it was a prank. This was cruel of his girlfriend, and if it were me, i wouldn't stay.
Michael Valenti 6
"Scam artists wet dream!" Amazing line..
Alexis Leann Winter 12
dump her
tonyfan00 38
Plot twist: It was an actual stranger who texted the wrong number to report a different cat had died.
RetireEngland 24
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Man card revoked, least cry in private and make that bitch pay
labiapatrol 8
Every time a guy uses the phrase "man card" every woman wiring a twelve mile radius gets a message on her phone saying "Warning! Insecurities! Would you like to open Google Maps to plan the fastest exit route?"
samomaha 17
Labiapatrol, men feel the same way about "men" who use lines like "man card".