Today, I saw a guy with a "free hugs" poster. Since nobody else was hugging him, I decided to. He had a boner. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was dared to stand and hold a sign saying, "Free Hugs." This girl I'd never seen before gave me a crushing hug and cried hysterically on my shoulder in the blazing afternoon sun. I couldn't get her off. FML
Today, a female friend, who I'm mildly into, was crying into my arms about how tough things have been for her. I'm so touch-starved that I got a boner as I hugged her. She noticed. FML
Today, in a crowded hallway, I saw the guy I fancy standing in front of me, with his arms open wide. Thinking he wanted to hug me, I wrapped my arms around him and stepped back. He looked at me like I was nuts. I then realised he was trying to hug the girl next to me. FML
Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "WTF am I doing?" he kissed my boob. FML
Today, I was at a concert and an older man offered to let me stand in front of him because I'm short. It wasn't until the show started and people were jumping around did I realize he had a boner and was repeatedly bumping into me. FML
Today, there were no more seats on the bus I was taking home, which meant I had to stand. I noticed that a creepy guy sitting in front of me had a boner, so I took a few steps back. Suddenly the bus went through something like a speed bump, which caused me to fall and sit on the man's lap. FML
Today, I'm so deprived of intimacy that I got a raging boner when a waitress called me "hun". FML
Today, I got a completely random boner at a coffee shop, five seconds before two attractive women asked me to stand up and take their picture. FML
Today, I woke up with a huge boner. My girlfriend saw it, rolled her eyes and said, "Not a chance." FML
Today, I found out that you can get arrested for holding up a "Free hugs" sign. FML
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Top comments
Fmyspam 0
Well you made him happy!!
Amburito 0
You know you liked it OP.
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Comments (228)
Charitizzle 0
Hahahahahahaha
pwincessa23 1
^^^ never hug s person with a free hugs sign! they're creepy!
Trupe 3
It was just a roll of quarters.....chill OP.
IphonFML 6
take it as a compliment :P
shrinkydinks 0
it's just a boner. it's not like he raped you or something
BaconDave 12
Well you know what they say, every1luvsboners!
MissBunnyWillEat 11
And his chode boner turned you on, right? Be honest with yourself, OP.
asoptavlo14 6
Haha the hugs are normally costly but there was a giveaway and boners usually come with the hugs, therefore OP just got 2 free things. Lucky duck!!
agummere796 0
if your the first freaking poster, why the hell would you just say 'hahahahahaha'??? wth!
Volcano47 0
then he stalked you and looked at you through windows. great you have a stalker on your hands:)
Volcano47 0
well what would you say " igot a b*ner from this"^^ you are retarded
nitram0606 0
fail
Hi_Itz_Me 0
hmm.. I just realized that the OP could be a guy..
darlingdollie 24
says the girl kissing that rat thing?
stinewd 9
Maybe his sign should've said "free boner" instead.
imthatguythatdid 0
AHH!!!! A!!! boner....
j4gerb0mblitz 6
probably why nobody was hugging him...
OceanProtection 0
So... have my baby? Oh, and add Enonymous and Cheddardolphin to your list... they're both aspiring DocBastard's
OceanProtection 0
^^^ >>> 38
Jojo08_fml 0
#58 does it really matter
missmurderx 8
9- says the girl getting felt up by chuckie cheese.
folfin 0
you get what you pay for?
gibby1235 6
I'm pretty sure the sign said free...
kenji212 8
OP awesome name by the way!
lolwutsameme 0
15, A guy who takes a picture of only his abs is like a fat girl who takes a picture of only their face.
Tcaret300 12
^WIN^
YDI__Bitch 0
wouldn't that be a compliment?
SomeFMLPerson 0
Don't flatter yourself OP... It was probably just a banana in his pocket...
karinabeby 0
that's disgusting.
darkch0colate 0
who wouldn't get a boner in that situation?
CryMoreFMLs 15
Mmm yesss... oh wait, OP is a girl. Crap.
Complaining 13
54 - It doesn't say so.
ripjohnlennon 5
how?
Fmyspam 0
Well you made him happy!!
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
well, everyonelovesboners!
Monii_Harlz 11
yeah people did that at rocko shops one time :/ lol u just got even luckier with a boner :P
DietSunDrop 0
he got a little too excited that someone hugged him
dolphincheddar 10
43 that's already been said here. and you spelt his name wrong
BigHoshJosh 0
bow chicka bow wow
Captain_Obvious2_fml 6
130 I did it on purpose. and I didn't realize that it had already been said.
Amburito 0
You know you liked it OP.
Docbee 11
The man liked it more
BaconDave 12
Well, considering OP's username, she didn't.
geko911 22
no... OP liked it so much he/she didnt want to tarnish that godly memory with another free hug that could be less pleasurable.
danica45 7
i would thumbs the comment up but it has 69 thumbs and I will not be the douche to ruin that xD
zeroxbitch 0
he likey you :)
wordnerd42 0
OP shouldn't take it personally... The man just really enjoys volunteer work.
iamyourmum 1
oh that's gross
79DrAwkwArD97 0
Why is it "gross"?
GabyGirl555 2
because no one likes it when a man you don't want pokes you with his junk
NomOnShroomz 14
I like it...
chelseaaababyyy 17
151 - thats kinda a dumb question lol
Shaniaaa20 0
Ewww..
rockindyl22 0
Does 'hugs' mean 'boner' in New Jersey? If so, I think I found your problem...
xPsYcHO_KILLa_x 0
screw you new jersey is not what tv makes it out to be
Tommananaze6T9 4
haha 11s just trying to be funny and it worked dont get so defensive next time
chickunkey 0
With such a defensive response, I'm willing to guess it's exactly as tv makes it seem. haha
demonmarine22 0
what they said
JesusFishTaco 5
Aw man, now I feel obligated to defend NJ since I live there, but I know that all that'll happen is that a bunch of jokes will stem from my defense. So instead, ladies and gentlemen, Conway Twitty.
smurfsarwales 9
yes it is. everyone has wayyy touch much fake tan and they **** on the first date.
bgo7 0
ppl in jersey are like tv haha
Jesus_Christ69 0
77 I don't see how you find this comment funny. it's stupid. an eight year old could come up with a better comment.
Lumenoire 0
11: You wouldn't understand, it's a New Jersey thing.
dentondobbins 0
its worse
lyssaisyourgirl 7
jersey is nothing like jersey shore ...
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
11 be trolling
kayleighc 0
shut the fucck up.
elacap 0
was It before or after u hugged him he was "showning up"
ariannaimelda 7
Wow you must give good hugs!
theten_fml 9
anyone want a hug?