Today, I found out my new Commanding Officer is my ex-wife's new boyfriend. We're going on a two year tour at sea in two weeks. The reason we got a divorce is that she couldn't handle being tied down with someone in the Navy. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after I was on deployment 6000 miles away, and because my wife was struggling pretty bad with work, kids, and taking care of everything on her own, she finally had a breakdown so I came home early to help. I found out she was fucking another Navy dude the whole time. I should've stayed out there. FML
Today, I'm seven months into a twelve month deployment. I called my fiancée, and she dumped me. The worst part is that two days ago, I re-enlisted to go to a unit an hour away from her house. FML
Today, I'm in my fourth month of training in the US Navy. I'm 3000 miles from home. I joined to give my wife a better life. Since I've been gone, she decided that she liked being single. FML
Today, I came home from a one-year Army deployment, only for my wife to tell me she feels claustrophobic with me in the bed. She then asked for a divorce. FML
Today, I found out after 6 months in basic training that my wife of 3 years was playing the long game to scam me. She took me for 25k while I was away, then left me for a homeless meth head. I've been "getting divorced" now longer than we had been happily married. FML
Today, aside from clearing out my bank accounts and having an affair, the kicker was finding out my fiancé planned on taking himself and his mistress to Cancun for his birthday, while I would be attending the Marine Corps boot camp. FML
Today, I found out that my most amazing spring break ever, will be spent stuck on a ship with my ex. It's been almost two years, and he still isn't over me. Yay. This cruise shall be fun. FML
Today, I met the girl who dumped me because the distance between us was too great. We're in the same city again. She's now dating a Marine in Iraq. FML
Today, I found out my fiancé is in a long distance relationship with his ex. Not only do we live on the same island, he's also my neighbor and my co-worker. FML
Today, I found out that the coworker I refused to leave my wife for is now happily married with someone else, while I'm now divorced. FML
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Top comments
baseballlegitly0 2
whata bitch
The_Weirdo 10
coincidence? I think not!
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Comments (103)
The_Weirdo 10
coincidence? I think not!
ilovemusic7 0
I wonder if he knows? mention it to him, she sounds awful(:
rockindyl22 0
*Generic dirty sailor joke that ends with 'poop deck' *
shrinkydinks 0
well what if she just used the "not wanting to be tied down with someone in the navy" as an excuse to get divorced?
6tori6 5
What a bitch. Maybe it's becuase he's higher rank?
mfmylifesrsly 30
**** her OP. my ex bf was in the army and his girlfriend he was gonna propose to cheated on him saying she couldn't "bed down with a killer" then she marries another guy in the army!! I hate women like that.
FarSide 23
What makes you think she is going to be tied down with him?
JustLetItHappen 2
Never ever heard of any naval ship doing a two year deployment.
WhiteBoyThatCan 0
you need to leave FML forever...
Alex94xela 0
accidentally push him off the boat and say it was suicide xd
patebishop 7
I agree with 44
baseballlegitly0 2
whata bitch
Lostdonut 3
That sucks man! Good luck in your tour! Stay safe.
RouletteRed 6
you said it. no one likes a liar. dont worry she doesnt deserve you
gabstahhh 8
Too bad you had to let that one go...she seemed like a real keeper. And a great person to come home to after two years away....
theybebitchin 4
Oh snap! Lying bitch!
lovepebbles 1
just try not to talk about her or think about her ...
theaws0m3guy 4
You got that right sister!!
pman590 8
You should tell him that and it would be hilarious to see his face!
johnnybagodonuts 2
I think the guy would laugh in his face, op's ex was obviously lying to him when she gave him that excuse
NuTrees 9
I hate them type hoes, don't fret my man karma will come for her ten fold granting you well.
WeooBeans 14
Oh man. That's shitty!
JokeMeister 0
OUCH!!!!!FYLFYLFYLFYL!!!!!!!!!!!!!
rickolette 0
Talk about lame excuses. bitch probably just didn't know what she had. Ur lucky to have her our of ur life.
LuxAeterna_fml 0
Your kitten is ugly.
volley4eva1698 0
I think it's hawt
mooshibear140 4
#73 You're ugly.
EmoFinn 0
Technically, she's not 'tied downed' with him... But yes, FYL
EmoFinn 0
I assumed he meant it meaning in the marriage sense because he used to be married to her, but yah that too