Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
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Top comments
Shayton 12
Bacon=sex in your mouth
tony1891 22
gotta love Bacon.
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Comments (174)
momo1972 3
Bacon goes with everything
pattheaninal 9
**** blocked by bacon.
AppallingRogue 2
More like twat blocked
KingDingALing 9
Just whisper "Sausage..." in his ear. I'm sure he'll stop.
Andrew910 5
When he orgasms does he scream it?
Llamacod 11
no, but he does scream "Bacoooonnn"
SystemofaBlink41 27
61- that's the word 21 was referring to...
RedPillSucks 33
Screaming "It" during an ****** would be hilarious.
Octain 13
That's hilarious!(; Sounds like a cool boyfriend :P
Enslaved 38
Is cooking bacon in the kitchen now considered foreplay?
perdix 31
Where have you been? In most parts of the Deep South, it's been that way for generations!
Ray_of_midnight 23
Frying bacon while naked would be a rather bad idea, I would think.
perdix 31
It's the danger that makes it sexy.
RedPillSucks 33
Slap on that bacon grease on your sexy parts. Man or woman, they can't resist. Just make sure the grease isn't still hot.
Crazberry 5
Hehe that sounds like something my friend would do... Just for giggles you should let out an exaggerated moan when he does say it. Every couple needs an inside joke :P
PawnShopPenguin 4
Now I am finding myself extremely craving bacon. Thank you for starting my morning on a good note!
Llamacod 11
you really don't have a leg to stand on here bitching about it, you're the idiot who pointed it out
BigSexy123 11
Calm down.
BeThePanda 1
My goodness, you're getting a little too angry about this. Notice everyone else just joking and laughing? Do that.
rammy125 4
You only have yourself to blame...