Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Shayton 12
Bacon=sex in your mouth
tony1891 22
gotta love Bacon.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (174)
RedPillSucks 33
This would be funnier if they were 1. Vegetarians 2. Jewish 3. Muslim 4. all of the above
BriskIsRisky 2
Pretty damn sexy
loserman67 36
Well, it is safe to say that you two must have the most awesome, mind blowing sex if he reacts the same way as he does to the lovely smell of bacon. Bacon is the food of the gods, bacon is the most awesome thing ever! I congraulate you on your fantastic sex life!
hangman161 2
Lol I'm sorry that's just hilarious!
bagelpie 6
I wish my bf did that to me.... That would turn me on!
kraz8 1
Just remember, he'll never be too tired for bacon...
mjmsmommy89 0
Bacon has the same effect on me.
SickWRXMon 3
Wow, he's really mature!
fupchick23 0
Haha I would burst out laughing!!
RokNRoll11 9
You kind of asked for it