Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend and I were making out, holding hands, and he was playing with a strand of my hair. I thought the whole thing was very romantic. He then said he loved how my mouth tasted like bacon. FML
Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML
Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to the aquarium. We were noticing the fishy smell, and I had made a comment about it. Then my boyfriend slowly, and seductively whispers into my ear, "It sort of reminds me of how you smell." FML
Today, my boyfriend told me that having sex with me was as good as eating crispy bacon. I don't know if I should feel complimented. FML
Today, my boyfriend found out it makes a funny fart sound when he blows hard into my mouth in the middle of making out. I can't get him to stop doing it every time we kiss. FML
Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating his Baconator than he did while sleeping with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend started making pig noises during sex. FML
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
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Top comments
Shayton 12
Bacon=sex in your mouth
tony1891 22
gotta love Bacon.
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Comments (174)
Brahmzy1 3
If bacon doesn't arouse you then nothing will
alexchenkov 4
That's cute! Why is it a FML thing?
xmichigo3 0
Doesn't matter, had bacon.
Unbweavable 17
Sexy
NoReservations 9
Spray him with a spray bottle of water for bad behavior.
wlddog 14
Maybe YOU should be sprayed with a water bottle for bad behavior. Now go put a white t-shirt on and go to my room.
NoReservations 9
My comment was actually meant in that context as well, lmao.
Zachthejoker 10
Shhhh... Just accept it xD
Harpy20 24
Bacon is amazing. Stop complaining.
wannabemom 5
How was it just today and now "Everytime" you have sex he says it. You two must be busy....
5t3ff1k4h 47
FMLs don't always happen "Today". That's just the format the FML has to be put in. It sounds like this happened a few weeks ago.
jcmjr 4
Apparently the way to a guy heart is thru his stomach lol :{
brynllwynog2 0
You must have a had a lot of sex if you only told him today, and now everytime you have sex he says it. Jus' sayin' :)