Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was taking a walk when I noticed an elderly man on the ground, unmoving. Being a registered nurse, I tried to give him CPR. As my lips touched his, he hacked a loogie and spat it into the back of my throat. I swallowed. FML
Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML
Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML
Today, I was installing TVs in a hospital. When I knocked on a door, a female voice asked me to come in. I opened the door to see an 80 year old woman standing in front of me, naked. She then complained when I hesitated to help her to put some clothes on. FML
Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML
Today, I once again had to tell one of my elderly patients not to grope me. He responded by throwing his bedpan at me. It was full. FML
Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML
Today, working on an ambulance, we had an elderly man who was obviously scared, so to get his mind off things I made small talk. When I went to ask if he was retired, it came out as, "So Steve, are you retarded?" My partner/supervisor across from me had tears running down her face from trying not to laugh. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
Good news: you apparently have a nice rack. Bad news: people are creeps. Especially drunk people.
marcmaralou 15
while that is perverted ... he's 83 and he's got nothing to lose
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Comments (66)
Nat52482 25
Haha I would have said "Doesn't look like you're in any serious pain since you can crack jokes." And left. But that's why I'm not a doctor lol
lvg_fml 10
Aside from being drunk he may also have some dementia. He's 83 he may not get another chance. Unless you have to deal with him again I say let it slide
Ichiya 29
Never let it slide regardless of age sexual harassment is still sexual harassment
XPhoenixFire 17
#49 That's kind of funny coming from Ichiya. Not exactly the point of view you would expect from him.
BlondePsycho 43
I hope you also treated him for a broken hand.
kmelad 15
Oh, cause if you're getting paid it's totally okay... I guess.
Meechiepie 13
to be fair I think it's one of those things where the fact that she's not paid is just adding insult to injury. She doesn't get anything to comfort her from this mans atrocious behavior. If she was paid it would obviously still suck, but she'd be like "at least I get paid for this" or "at least I can pay the bills at night" you know?
KhaleesiDannie 26
I'd have to slap him dying or not...
Charles900 16
That's disgusting. Chest pain or not, that creep should have been punched.
feliciaheartu 21
Lets get the "I agree your life sucks" to 8008!!
llooslam 2
not the old man become worse, but the worst man become elder
firebat67 5
Ha! I'm an EMT as well, my female partner and I were transporting emergency traffic chest pain, the driver turned pretty sharp and my partner leaned over the patient to brace herself. He took the opportunity to grab her ass and motorboat her chest with his face. Needless to say she requested that she do the IV, which she happened to miss a few times lol
Bragi 12
Welcome to EMS!